Author: Max&Mike

Episode 319 – Streets of Fire (1984)

WOOO! ROCK AND ROLL! ‘ALLO, DUBUQUE! WE! ARE! MAX! MIKE! MOVIES! AND WE ARE HERE TO ROCK YOUR STREETS UNTIL THEY FIRE! YEEEEAHHHH! If I can bring it down for a moment, Mike and I are thrilled to be here, this latest stop on our “Remember! YOU Asked For It!” tour. And we are gonna RAAWWWWKKK! YEEEEEAHHH! Our show has it all! An evil Willem Dafoe! Rick Moranis as a music industry sleaze! Amy Madigan as a badass! And a THOROUGHLY UNLIKEABLE 80’s HERO WITH TOTALLY 80’S STUBBLE! YEAAHHHH! What’s more rock and roll than that? How about a totally bitchin’ 80’s rock soundtrack, written mostly by the Ry Cooder Band?! You want that? You want it?! How bad do you want it? YEAAAAHHHHH, that’s what I’m talking about! Now let’s get ready to RAWWW…. ow . . . owowowowowow . . . dammit, I pulled my back again. Crap, my orthopedic platform boot just lost a heel! Mike, get untangled from the flight wires and help me! Aaahhh, my hip! Give a listen, quick, before my heart pills kick in.

Poll question: What is your favorite rock and roll movie?

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Episode 318 – Bedazzled (1967)

A new year and a . . . slightly new series. Technically we started this one last year with “Wicked” but . . . look, stop nit-picking ok? Why must you hound me so?! Where will it all end?! Well, not with this week’s entry in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series, that’s for gosh-darn sure. And speaking of being gosh-darned, this week’s entry deals with that very touchy subject: selling your soul to the Devil! Yes, in this moderned-up version of the Faust story, Dudley Moore sells his soul to the Peter Cook (who makes a darn fine devil, don’tchaknow) meaning that his soul will be darned to Heck for all etern-diddly-ernity! That’s a dilly of a pickle! This suggestion comes to us from the Lord of Flightless Tuxedo-Clad Birds, Vince, dread master of the Great Dark North. Join us and see how British humor merges with the concept of sin, free will, blowing raspberries, and nuns on trampolines! And never forget the magic words: “Julie Andrews”! [disclaimer: Ms. Andrews does not appear in this film. Racquel Welch does, but she is not to be confused with Julie Andrews. Nor could she be, really]

Poll question: do you have a favorite biblical, or bible-adjacent movie? “Ten Commandments”? “Dogma”? “Jesus Christ: Superstar”? Leave a comment or call our Unholy Hotline at 617-398-7266.

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Episode 317 – Wicked (2024)

Great shrieking clams, we’ve got us a brand-new series for you all! Oh yes we do, oh yes we do! Mike and I were thinking (a rare and dangerous occurrence) and we figured why should WE do all the work picking out movies like a couple of chumps, when we can ask you, our erudite, well-coifed, and splendidly handsome listeners for your suggestions! Which brings us to our series “Remember! YOU Asked For It!” We’re booting off this series with a suggestion from our resident scholar Adam Mark, a movie that is still in theaters (and, judging from the audience reactions, will be for some time): “Wicked.” Sadly, this has nothing to do with the Boston dialect (which is wicked disappointing, pally) but rather an unusual take on the classic story “The Wizard of Oz” focused rather on the so-called Wicked Witch of the West, aka Elphaba, just a soul whose intentions are good; oh, Oz, please don’t let her be misunderstood . . . ok, enough song references, sorry. This is a movie based on a stage musical based (VERY loosely) on a book. So what did we think? Did it carry us somewhere over the rainbow or did we feel it was flying monkey poop? Give a listen and find out!

Poll question: Do you like your villains simply villainous or do you prefer them deeply examined, with backstory and such? Answer in the comments or call our evil lair and leave a message at call us at 617-398-7266.

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No Episode This Week

Sorry, most beloved and perspicacious listeners, no episode this week; Mike and I are off doing incredibly cool and time-consuming things. Oh, such cool things! Wish we could tell you about them but they’re just too cool to be relayed. Totally. Yeah. That’s why there’s no episode this week. Yeeeaaahhhh . . . . But fear not, we’ll be back next week, when we’ll be less cool. No, wait . . .

Episode 316 – The Making of “And God Spoke” (1993)

All good things must come to an end . . . and on an unrelated note, so must our series “Ready When You Are, C.B.,” movies about making movies. We’re closing out with a somewhat less-than-well-known mocumentary about a fictional film team attempting to make a movie covering the entire Bible. As you might guess, things do not go well. I don’t want to give too much away, but their obvious mistake was not making the whole thing a musical! Come on, what could lend itself more to light-hearted music and dance than the Bible? Enjoy the haunting Adam-and-Eve duet “This Apple Tastes Like Crapple,” or a clever patter song for Moses: “Countin’ Down Ten Commandments.” It writes itself, doesn’t it? How about a catchy number for Job: “What A Day I’m Having” or a tender ballad “Don’t Go Throwing Stones at Hookers.” And you could wrap it all up with a huge, psychedelic song-and-dance number for Revelations: “Don’t Go Breaking That Seal.” I’m telling you, this is a golden calf mine, and as soon as I can get the funding together . . . well, give a listen and here the rest of my plan [spoiler: there is no rest of my plan].

Poll question: whose opinion most affects your choice of movie viewing? Your friends or professional movie critics?

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Episode 315 – State and Main (2000)

Welcome, welcome to another entry in our series “Ready When You Are, C.B.”, where we address . . . what the hell? Who are all these people? Where did these cameras come from? What the Hec Ramsey is going . . . hah? What release? I never agreed to allow a film crew to use the Max, Mike; Movies studios for a film location! Hey! Put that down! That’s one-of-a-kind! Do you know how hard it is to find a life-sized Kaboom Cereal Clown Mascot Statue?! MIKE! Where are you? Did you authorize . . . AAAAAHH! Great Demille’s Ghost, what have they done to you? How did they get your hair that color? Weren’t you six inches taller yesterday? Oh, so now you fit the film’s “vision”, do you? This is absurd, who would ever, HEY! Get away from me with those pliers? YES, I “need all my teeth”; I don’t care if a “lurching, gap-toothed, bald albino” fits the movie’s “aesthetic.” Anyway, I’m not bald! Or albino! . . . What the hell do you mean “not yet”? You Hollywood people think you can just come in and rearrange whatever you want just so you can make your damn popcorn-pushing celluloid nonsense! Ok, yes, that happens to fit this week’s movie, “State and Main” but still, I never signed any release! Neither did Mike! So who said you could . . . . BUMPY!!!!!! That’s IT! I’m calling the Purina Dog Food Processing Plant manager and telling them to expect an anonymous donation! Hey, bud, can I borrow that chainsaw real quick? Thanks . . .

Poll question: has a movie ever taught you any real-life lessons?

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Episode 314 – Matinee (1993)

Ah, the Matinee; this may seem a strange subject for our series “Ready When You are, C.B.” but really, I think a film about these glorious sea mammals is long overdue. Gentle, plant-eating, and able to swim in bursts up to 20mph, these so-called sea cows may have in fact evolved from a four-legged land animal over 20 million years ago . . . hmmm. Some of the casting in this movie seems a bit strange for such a subject; I mean, John Goodman is a stout gentleman but he certainly doesn’t come close to the Matinee’s half-ton weight or aquatic skills . . . oh dear . . . wait, is it possible I’m confusing Matinee with Manatee? Yes, yes, I’m afraid I am. Whoopsie doodle. The fact that this movie involves Key West may have misled me, although I guess I should have questioned what the Manatee has to do with legendary schlock film-maker William Castle or the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962, both of which feature prominently in this movie. My bad. Well, enjoy our discussion of “Matinee” and Hollywood, I’ve handed you a golden opportunity to make a big-budget film about a long-ignored sea creature. You’re welcome.

Poll question: what is your favorite hate-watch movie? That movie you know is bad and bad for you but you can’t help watching it? Leave a comment or hate-call us at 617-398-7266

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Episode 313 – Barton Fink (1991)

Ok . . . ok . . . come on, Max . . . you’ve done over three hundred of these . . . it’s not that hard . . . just write. Just write SOMETHING. Oh god, why does a blank white screen look so horrible? Why is my keyboard laughing at me? Come on . . . it’s just another entry in the “Ready When You Are, C.B.”, just another movie about making movies. What the hell is wrong with you? God, writer’s block is awful . . . Come on, you useless lump; you’ll be out sleeping with the ponies at this rate! What, do I need John Goodman to show up to share a bottle with me? Mmm . . . maybe a drink would help . . . no! No, dammit, no more distractions! You can DO this! Just think of some Coen Brothers absurdities, think of disturbing overhead camera shots and creepy hotel hallways . . . SOMETHING! . . . . Nothing. I’ve got nothing. I’ll just have to tell Mike that I can’t come up with anything this week. He’ll understand. Maybe he’ll only use the small cattle prod this time. Maybe. I wish I’d been able to write something . . .

Wait a minute . . .

Poll question: what’s your favorite comfort movie? What movie just makes you feel all snuggly and warm?

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