Episode 246 – The Big Chill (1983)

I’m sure you’ve all been able to tell that this series “You Haven’t Seen THAT?! Part 2” has clearly taken its toll on Mike. He’s just so stressed out by these movies, and I think we all know that he needs to just chill. You know, take a really big chill pill and just chill out bigly, yes he needs a Big . . . ok, yeah, this isn’t working, it feels really forced, sorry! Sometimes this just happens. Not often, I swear! And it doesn’t make me less of a man! Anyway, this week we’re looking at “The Big Chill”. Not just looking, either! We’re listening with our ears! Because there’s lots of dialogue and a really cool soundtrack to listen to! And Mike has never looked at or listened to this film before, so there’s that. So, work on your favorite rationalization, turn off that rerun of “J.T. Lancer” and join us!

Poll question: What movie do you think is a defining movie for your generation? What movie just says “yup, that’s my generation’s movie.”

Episode 245 – The Goonies (1985)

It’s my turn to confess my ignorance in this week’s episode of “You Haven’t Seen THAT?! Part 2”: I have never seen the beloved classic of youth “The Goonies.” Nope. Just never got around to it. And now that I’ve seen it . . . much like “American Pie,” I’m a bit disappointed as to the subject matter. I thought I was in for a rollicking good time following the misadventures of a group of Laysan albatrosses (look it up if you can’t guess) or maybe a charming interpretation of a song from my childhood, “Little Bunny Froufrou” (who does, in fact, become a Goon at the end of the song, sorry for the spoiler). But alas, no! I get a bunch of incredibly annoying pre-adolescent boys (in other words, pre-adolescent boys. Hey, Mike and I were those things; we know whereof we speak), some of whom grew up to be adorable Hobbits named Sam or galactic tyrants named Thanos or, tragically, Corey Feldman. The folks behind the camera are worth noting as well, so join us while we note them! And other things! So much noting, you won’t believe it! Goonies never say . . . line?

Poll question: what is a movie you loved as a child that you just can’t watch it as an adult?

Episode 244 – American Graffiti (1973)

Ah, George Lucas. He’s certainly given us a lot. Memories. Iconic images. Deep, bleeding psychic wounds. He’s directed and written some of the most influential movies of our time. He gave us the original “Star Wars.” He introduced us to Indiana Jones. He showed us the dystopia of “THX-1138.” And he scarred us indelibly by bringing us “Howard the Duck” (yes, he was only the executive producer there, but that’s enough for me to blame him). And through it all, our own Mike has been there with him, seeing every movie the man has directed . . . or HAS he? No! Because due to our series “You Haven’t Seen THAT?! Part 2” and my matchless investigative skills, it has been determined that Mike has never seen that George Lucas early classic, 1973’s “American Graffiti,” Lucas’ second feature film. [I will try to recreate the brilliant deductive methods by which I determined this phenomenon as follows. Me: “Hey, Mike, you ever see ‘American Graffiti’?” Mike: “No.” Me: “AHA!” For those of you who had trouble following all that, I will be publishing a 473-page report on it, downloadable for modest fee, payable in BumpyBux]

Anyway, we’re here in the ‘20’s, talking about a film from the 70’s that is deeply nostalgic for the 50’s. I’m still concerned this will cause some sort of temporal rift; to find out, give a listen and here us chatter about Opie Cunningham, Wolfman Jack, Shirley, and Richard Dreyfuss, all in the same movie! Solid, Jackson!

Poll question: what’s your favorite concert movie, music or comedy?

Episode 243 – The Neverending Story (1984)

Hear, o noble-formerly-known-as-Prince, of the tale of Flingdor and his travels through the dark lands of Genectigazoink with his noble companion Skinamarinkadinkydink and his magic plorfdamper as they seek the mystic Dingus-Thingy that only the Choosened One can find to defeat the evil Blorfhamper and his dread army of tap-dancing Death Clams!

Ok, yes, the 80’s brought us more than a few . . . questionable fantasy movies (I’m looking at you, “Deathstalker” series) but it also brought some surprisingly enduring ones, including one that Mike has chosen for this “You Haven’t Seen THAT?! Part 2” series. Yes, I confess, my youth has been missing a pretty serious fragment in that I, Max, had never seen “The Neverending Story” . . . until now. Is it an enduring movie? Check Season 3 of “Stranger Things” if you don’t think so (you know the episode I mean). So, what did I think? Did I enjoy it? I hope you know, because I can’t remember. Good thing we recorded it. Does Mike think it holds up? Does the scene in the Swamps of Sadness still wring hearts? Hop aboard your Racing Snail and give a listen!

Poll question: what movie that you saw as a child still makes you feel the same way as an adult?

Episode 242 – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

Howdy, howdy, howdy! Yipee kay yo kay yay! Yeeee-haw! Other Western expressions! Why? Because this week’s entry in our “You Haven’t Seen THAT?! Part 2” series is, you guessed it, a Western. Sort of. Kind of. It’s complicated. But however you shellack your Stetson (that’s a phrase, isn’t it?), this one’s a classic, the first pairing of Robert Redford and Paul Newman, in a movie penned by William Goldman, the man who brought us “The Princess Bride”. And would you believe it? Mike’s never seen it! So I’ve undertaken to correct this shocking shock of shockness and now he’s watched it! Hooray for me! Buffalo stew and cactus fricassee for everyone! But how did Mike like it? Come to think of it, how did I like it? It’s been forever and a day since I’ve seen it . . . oh lord, how DID I like it? I don’t know! Up is down! Black is white! Papier mâché is Crème Brulé! How can we know what’s true? Actually, that’s pretty easy! Give a listen to this week’s episode and we can all learn and laugh and love together . . . again! Yee haw . . .? Podner?

Poll question: assuming you like Westerns at all, do you have a preference for the old, classic, John Wayne-y Westerns like “Fort Apache” or “The Magnificent Seven” or do you prefer the more recent, grittier Westerns, like “Unforgiven” or “Young Guns” or even “Dances with Wolves”?

Episode 241 – American Pie (1999)

Welcome, welcome to our new series . ..  which is a sequel to an old series! In fact, it’s a new version of our very first series: “You Haven’t Seen THAT?! Part 2” Yes, once again Mike and I are challenging each other to watch movies that one of us has never seen but we really should have and the fact that we haven’t means we’re fundamentally flawed and bad people and oh god I’m sorry I’m so sorry I’m a terrible person what’s WRONG with me . . . ok, ok, it’s fine, we’re fine, I’m fine, we’re all fine here . . . how are you? Well, we’re hoping you all are both fine AND dandy as we kick off this series with Mike’s first pick, revealing my shame: I have never seen the movie “American Pie.” Much to my disappointment, it is not, repeat NOT, a visual representation of the classic Don McLean song (why not? Someone missed a golden opportunity here) but rather a raunchy teen comedy and spawner of a thousand memes (not the kind I left France because of). So, get yourself a slice of apple pie, break out your favorite band camp stories and join us as we discuss the film that brought us the icon that is Stiffler’s Mom!

Poll question: what movie best represents YOU? What movie sums you up?

Episode 240 – The Room (2003)

And so, we come to the close of our “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” series and what a ride it’s been! How can we choose the proper film to close out a series that focuses on memorable dialogue, clever quips, hilarious bon mots and the like? Did we choose a towering classic? No. Did we choose an adaptation from a great work of literature? No, no we did not. Did we choose a film that has left a very clear mark on the cinematic landscape? . . . you know, yes, we kinda did. Keep in mind that “leaving a mark” can mean many different things. It can be a shining monument to a concept or idea. It can be terrible scar that changes the viewer forever. Or it can be an unbelievable, horrendous mess left smeared across the film stock that leaves one shaking one’s head and talking randomly to household plants. Guess which of these definitions fits this week’s movie . . . gee, you didn’t even need to the other two guesses. Yes, this week Mike and I don our hazmat suits and plunge waist-deep into the industrial waste disaster that is Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room,” a baffling cinematic extrusion that has somehow become a twenty-year phenomenon as a cult movie at midnight shows. Does this movie deserve to join the ranks of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and “Rock and Roll High School”? Is it so-bad-it’s-good or is it just so-bad-that-the-creator-should-be-thrown-in-a-sack-and-beaten-with-reeds? Join us and find out, HANH? Don’t worry about it!

Poll question: what movie did you go into expecting to hate or be bored by but ended up really enjoying?

P.S. In case anyone is interested, this is the source of the tile of this current series: https://youtu.be/_2LqmcjIeMU?t=85

Episode 239 – National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)

All right, Whiteman von Richington, let’s see the report on the most troublesome fraternity here at Max, Mike; University. Oh my . . . filling the school’s swimming pools with Bumpy Pucks . . . starting a ludicrous podcast series called . . . am I reading this right? “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” . . . sounds communist to me, and I should know: I’m a crusty old Dean! . . . doing in-depth analyses of mindless 1970’s comedy films . . . I’ve seen enough! That’s it! Bumpy House is now on quadruple MK-Ultra mega-codeword probation! I won’t rest until I’ve revoked their charter and had all their members rendered down into glue! I tell you . . . wait, what’s this? A picture of Bumpy? With my WIFE??! What . . . how . . . BUMPY HOOOUUUUSSSE!!!!

Join us as we see how well this 1970’s product of the comedy juggernaut that was National Lampoon holds up 45 years later. Yes, it was John Belushi’s breakout role, made a ton of money, and made Donald Sutherland’s accountant cry himself to sleep at night (find out why) but how problematic is the humor here? And, more importantly for this series, how quotable is it? Grab ten thousand marbles and give a listen!

Poll question: Who is the actor, male or female, that you thought we lost way too soon?

Episode 238 – Airplane! (1980)

Well, our “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” series is drawing to a close with this, our penultimate episode and wow, we’ve kinda picked a “Whoops-All-Crunchberries” example of a quotable movie, as so dang much of this Abrahams, Zucker and Zucker production is, and has been, quotable. People who’ve never seen the movie quote it! So, we’re discussing it in our podcast. A podcast? What is it? It’s two silly ninnies sitting around talking about movies, but that’s not important right now. Hmmm. Maybe this flick hasn’t aged as well as we thought. Well, once we get clearance from Clarence and make our donation to the Church of Religious Consciousness (donation = boot to the head), we can get underway. How ‘bout some more coffee, Johnny? But, honestly, how well has this movie actually held up? It’s over forty years old; how have the jokes aged? Any awkward moments? Are people still trying to call me Shirley? And who really is pinch-hitting for Pedro Borbon? Give a listen and find out!

Poll question: what is your favorite cinematic “dream team”? What team of actors/writers/directors/whatever, any combination thereof, do you love to see?

Episode 237 – Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Episode 237 – Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Well, hello, good folk! Welcome to another in our “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” series! Michael is just coming into the grand salon . . . oh, do be careful with that long two-by-four you’re balancing on your shoulder, Michael. Wait, don’t turn around! . . . Goodness, glad I ducked or you might have smote me in the noggin. What a silly mishap that would have been! You’d best turn around again and continue on your way . . . heavens to Betsy, you almost struck me in the cranium again with that lumber! What an unfortunate caprice that would have been! Oh, be sure not to step on that banana peel  . . . oh no! You have stepped on it! And now you have banana smeared all over your shoe! What a ninny you are, Michael! Thank goodness you didn’t fall! Now, put down that board and help me move this seven-tiered wedding cake over to that table next to all the spilled ball-bearings, and hurry! The Dowager Countess and her retinue will be here any moment. Yes, that’s good, let’s put the cake next to that tureen of piping hot soup there, balanced precariously on that pyramid of priceless crystal goblets . . . there we go, no problems at all! Our fete can commence! Strange, though . . . for some reason all this feels . . . disappointing.

Clearly Mike and I have not mastered the subtleties of wacky physical comedy; give a listen and see if Messrs. James Carey and Jeffrey Daniels make a better go of it in this week’s movie “Dumb and Dumber.” Now, where did I put that crate of badly-packed fireworks and jet fuel-soaked cotton balls . . .?

Poll question: what is the dumbest movie you’ve ever seen? You may have liked it, you might have hated it, but you know it was dumb.