We’re plunging ahead with our series “Directors in Short Pants” with Robert Eggers’ first egg-fort (I’m sorry; I’ll leave quietly) “The Witch.” What’s that? You’ve never seen this movie? Well, you must be A WITCH! A WITCH! BURN THEM! BURRRRNNN THEEMMMMMM! *ahem* Anyway, you can clearly see the themes and tropes that Eggers uses throughout his just-starting-out career. You can’t seem them? Only a WITCH WOULDN’T SEE THEM! A WITCH! THEY MUST BE BUUUURRRRRNED! Um, so right, I don’t know about you but this movie had no effect on me whatsoever and anyone it did effect could only BE A WITCH! WITCH! WITCH! WITCHES EVERYWHERE! MY MAIL CARRIER IS A WITCH! THAT POODLE! WITCH!! THAT FRYING PAN! IT’S A WITCH! BURN THEM! BURN EVERYONE! BURN ME! ONLY ANOTHER WITCH WOULD SEE WITCHES EVERYWHERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Give a listen, won’t you? Don’t make me accuse you of witchcraft! ‘cause I’ll do it! You know I will!
Poll question: who is your favorite witch of movie or TV fame? Comment or call our “Witch Accusation Hotline” at 617-398-7266
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I was partial to Samantha Stevens in Bewitched, because she was so beautiful and it was a funny show, but the witch in Played by was so over-the-top amazing I just loved it! The weird, vaguely European accent really makes it work. Eggers’ film is fantastic, and I was surprised how much Max knew about old witch legends. The film does many obscure folklore justice. When the witch goes after the cow’s milk, something that originated in legends from Great Britain but only lasted in the colonies a short time, I was so happy to see it on film! BTW, The North Man is his weakest film. It’s still good and visually stunning and not cheerful, but it’s basically an Eggers version of Conan the Barbarian with Björk. Worth seeing but not his best.
Ugh ! The Witches is the nicolas Roeg film with the over the top witch in it. I missed typing it somehow!
Ok, yes, I was wondering about that missing word; thanks for the addendum! Yeah, I’ve got some background in occult history due to some parts of misspent youth about which the less said the better. Kind of sorry to hear that the Northman is so weak; I kind of got that feeling from the previews (and the fact no one really talked about it) but nobody hits it out of the park every time. Björk? Really? Hmmm . . . you know, I could see her in a fantasy Conan-type movie; she always seems a bit other-worldly and I’ve heard she can be a surprisingly good actor. Thanks, Vince!