Episode 228 – The Core (2003)

It’s a rare occurrence where an event occurs that a piece of “Disaster Porn” predicted and described but just within the past week, scientists as the University of Peking released findings saying that the core of the planet Earth (you know the one) was slowing down and could possibly reverse direction. Well, here at Max, Mike; Movies, we are nothing if not relevant so we are discussing the eerily prescient 2003 cinematic prognostication “The Core,” director, nay, prophet Jon Amiel’s almost Nostradamus-like speculation on what would happen if such a thing actually happened. And now just look at us: surely,  famous landmarks are bursting into lighting-explosions, common urban birds have developed the super-avian strength needed to crash through safety glass, and Stanley Tucci is wearing a wild hairpiece . . . huh . . . uh, maybe “Nostradamus-like” is a little bit . . . much. Give a listen and see how much (if anything) this movie got right (spoiler alert: however much you think it got right? It’s less than that).

Think I’m kidding about the event actually happening? Check this out:
https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/25/world/earth-core-turning-scli-scn-intl/index.html

Poll question: who’s your favorite cinematic giant monster? Godzilla? King Kong? The Host?

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ACLU: https://www.aclu.org/

Black Lives Matter: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

Southern Poverty Law Center: https://donate.splcenter.org/

Episode 227 – Independence Day (1996)

Look at these foolish humans, K’lxfthmrq’zzz’tingting! See how they wallow in their foolish podcasts and their foolish so-called “Disaster Porn!” What foolish fools they are! Truly, they make my humor nodules harmonize most emphatically! How little they realize their peril as we prepare our Sinestron warriors in their Devestatrix ships to rain destruction down upon this miserable planet so that we may plunder their precious clam beds! Oh, how my humor nodules . . . wait! How did a human get aboard our EssEffEx mothership, through our Plot-holium hull?! Curse our need for human-sized door-portals! No! Human! Get away from that easily-recognizable Destroy-All-Antagonists button! It’s made of pure Narrativeconvencium! Noooooooooo!
*Floop*
Yes, this week we’re checking out what may be Roland “That Blowed Up Real Good!” Emmerich’s greatest creation (take that for what it’s worth) “Independence Day” or “ID4” as the kids say.  It’s got all you need: stereotypical old Jewish men, Randy Quaid playing himself, creepy not-really-Gigeresque-aliens, strippers, wise-cracking fighter pilots, very recognizable landmarks going BOOM, and Jeff Goldblum just Jeff Goldbluming the whole place up. Join us for the end of the world as we know it, because Mike and I both feel fine.

Poll question: Who is your favorite cinematic action hero character, male or female?

George Floyd Memorial Fund:  https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

ACLU: https://www.aclu.org/

Black Lives Matter: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

Southern Poverty Law Center: https://donate.splcenter.org/

Episode 226 – Earthquake (1974)

Hide the pets! Sell the children! It’s another in our “Disaster Porn” series and this one is from that groovy, swinging era that got it all started, the 70’s! Far out, man! This one is “Earthquake”, man, and it’s too cool, you turkeys! Dig it! We ain’t fakin’! Whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on! No, they did NOT use that Jerry Lee Lewis hit as the haunting love theme for “Earthquake”, which was a big mistake on their part. They missed out on that whole marrying-an-underage-cousin demographic (ooo, too soon?). This movie has it all: property destruction, nervous sheep, Ava Gardner, Lorne Green, savage high-voltage cables, George “Something’s Going to Blow Up Real Soon” Kennedy, senseless loss of bovine life, Victoria Principal (who probably needed a separate trailer for her hair), and Charlton Heston. And if you want his wife, you’ll have to pry her from his cold, dead hands . . . ew, that’s a lot worse in this movie’s context. Pull up a Richter scale and join us for this tale of everyday life on Los Angeles!

Poll question: what is your favorite cinematic hand-to-hand fight scene, with or without melee weapons? No guns allowed!

George Floyd Memorial Fund:  https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

ACLU: https://www.aclu.org/

Black Lives Matter: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

Southern Poverty Law Center: https://donate.splcenter.org/

Episode 225 – Geostorm (2017)

Welcome to our new series: “Disaster Porn”! Why? Because everyone loves porn! And everyone loves disasters! (don’t question me about either of those statements, dammit). So we thought, why not combine two great tastes . . . or two really horrible tastes, if you’re more “reasonable,” and do a series about it. Because, come on, isn’t there some part of you that agrees with Homer Simpson when he’s watching a series of Drivers Ed films that depict horrific, bloody accidents: “Hee hee! It’s funny because I don’t know them!” So, buckle up for big dose of schadenfreude! This week’s entry is a disaster on a number of levels: 2017’s “Geostorm” starring Gerard Butler. No, that’s not a typo. Apparently, Mr. Butler needed his summer house re-shingled or something, because he helped produce this cinematic bolus about a global weather-control satellite system that goes horribly (or delightfully) wrong and rains down world-wide weather calamities (see what I did there with the weather pun? Of course you did. I’ll see myself out). So slip into an easy-to-wear spacesuit and join us to find out if this one is an unintentional delight or a true disaster. And remember: Dutch Boy will save us!

Poll question: what disaster movie plot do you find the most unbelievable?

George Floyd Memorial Fund:  https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

ACLU: https://www.aclu.org/

Black Lives Matter: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

Southern Poverty Law Center: https://donate.splcenter.org/