Y’know, we’ve been doing this podcast for a while and it occurred to Mike that, hard to believe as it might be, there could be folks out there who might be wondering who we are and why anyone would want to listen to what we say. After I stopped my hysterical laughter at such an absurd notion, I realized that, like the top of his head, Mike has a point. Who are we? Why are our opinions so vitally important? It’s possible that people might actually be interested in a brief summary of what makes us tick and what makes us go “Huygleflamdoof!” (so many, many things make us do that). So here, at the request of none, is a short, special episode where Mike and I discuss ourselves, our love of movies, and why independent film discussion might actually be something that matters. Enjoy!
No, this podcast has not been hijacked, you read that title correctly. And sadly no, this episode is not just an hour of Mike and I talking about how much we like the animal felis catus (although we do). Strap yourselves in tightly because we went and saw the new “Cats” movie. Yup, that one. “But Max,” you may cry “Why did you and Mike subject yourself to what some people are calling the worst movie of all time?” Well, I invite you to think about what you just said (or rather, what I imagine you just said). This is us, dig? If someone says “there is no way anyone can sit through this movie,” our response is usually “Challenge accepted!” I’m not proud of this. No one should be. But we kept hearing about how insanely terrible this adaptation of Dame Andrew Lloyd Weber’s long-running musical was and we felt we owed it to you, our beloved, well-groomed, beautifully dressed listeners. This movie has a remarkable cast: Ian McKellen, Judy Dench, Idris Elba . . . and the rest! So how bad could it be? Seriously, is it REALLY that bad? We found out, so you don’t have to. So honor our sacrifice and have a listen. And I leave you with the lyrics of that most famous Cats song:
Meow meow meow meow,
Meow meow meow meow,
Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow.
— “Meow Mix of the Night”
Hello, trailer fans! You thought we forgot, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU? Well, we didn’t, so who’s the caramel-covered aardvark now, hmm? Yes, before we start our next series we’ve got a little drain cleanser. I mean, palate cleanser: the long-awaited follow-up to our Trailer Trash episode. We talked about the trailers; well, now we’ve actually seen the movies! Us? See movies? Wow, we really live out there on the edge, don’t we? Well, tune in and see what we thought of the movies and how well the trailers managed our expectations. And help yourself to some caramel-covered aardvark. Mmmmm, tasty.
Wel . . . wel . . . welcome to fiftieth *hic* amplitude, no,
wait, epishode, episode of Mix, Mork; Moogies.
No, no, wait, I got this: the fiftieth thingy of Maalox, Meringue;
Smoothies. *hic*, shorry, shorry, hang on . . .
Sheriously, I mean, seriously, this is our
fiftieth episode! The big five-oh! And we’ve decided to do something special for
all you loyal, sober listeners: we’re just taking this episode to talk about
the worst movies we can remember seeing.
I mean the real stinkers, the ones that made us, or almost made us, walk
out of the theater (remember theaters? People used to see movies in them, back
in the Long Ago). But of course there’s
no way we could talk about these cinematic crapburgers in a rational state of
mind, so Mike and I took the opportunity, as we were both in the same
geographical location, to . . . um . . . fortify ourselves with a few small
libations of . . . . ok, we got drunk, ok? We knocked back a few, I got more pompous,
Mike somehow got stuck in an English accent.
Yes, these are movies that quite literally drove us to seek solace in sweet,
sweet booze. Pour one out for the fallen
films and join us in our drunken ravings!
Yes, trailers. Such a part of the American driving, and cinematic, experience. These mighty hauling vehicles have been featured in such films as “The Long, Long Trailer” and “Trailer Park Boys,” where they have . . . hm? What’s that? Oh, MOVIE trailers! That’s what we’re talking about! Of course . . . that makes more sense, doesn’t it. Ahem. So this week is a special between-series episode where we examine the released previews for half a dozen of this season’s most anticipated blockbusters. We’ve got movies about rock stars, movies about superheroes (a bunch of those), and more! We’ll discuss the trailers, see if they’ve inspired us to see their respective films, and down the road we’ll have a show where we’ve actually seen all of the movies shown in these previews and we’ll talk about if the trailers delivered, over-promised, or flat-out misled us. Enjoy us, won’t you?