Halloyouall! Hier is de ende auf “Hat Nicht Gewonen. Hat Nicht Gewonen. Hat Nicht Gewonen” und der Max und der Mike ist vatchen das moviefilmen von Herr Charles Chaplin “Der Zehr Biggen Leadermensch”. Das ist ein moviefilmen vot nicht winnen das Oskar fur “Müst Gooden Movenpicturspassemachen” und das ist zehr unhappimachen. Or ist das? Maybeezo ist güt? Ist notzogüt? Komm, giben sie ein listenearenhearing zu der sauerbraten und so weit. Der Max und der Mike getalken lotsundlots und maybeezo yü dinken es ist lotsafunnyinterestdinkenmachen. Gesundheit!
Poll question: do you watch any of the major movie award shows, like the Oscars or the Golden Globes?
Um, ok, this is a bit embarrassing but while we were hoping to discuss “Singin’ in the Rain” as this week’s entry in our “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” series, we, well I’ll just say it, we couldn’t afford the licensing fees (it’s very complicated; it would take an economist to explain it) BUT don’t despair, because we’ve got something even better: the 1954 Soviet Union. . . homage to this great musical, another great musical called “Make Song During Bad Weather For Praise of Glorious Soviet State.” Oh, it’s a delight! We’ve got Genikoff Kelski, the Dancing Tractor Mechanic, Danilov Conzokoff, the legendary singer/beet farmer, and the lovely, sturdily-built Devrachav Reynavek, former tank commander and Olympic silver-medal winning power-lifter. What a cast! And the songs! So catchy! In addition to the toe-tapping title song, there’s “Induce Happy-Making Laughing in Service of the State,” “It is a Good Morning in Glorious New Russia,” and of course, “You Are Required to Dance”! Who needs that Oscar also-ran from that hack outfit MGM? I mean, that turkey didn’t even get nominated for Best Picture! The only reason “Make Song During Bad Weather For Praise of Glorious Soviet State” didn’t win in ’54 was clearly blatant favoritism on the part of the bourgeoisie capitalist running-dogs of the Academy. Give a listen and find out what did win! [Ok, I wrote what you wanted; you’ll “take care” of Bumpy now, right?]
Poll question: do you like to know the “behind-the-scenes stuff” for your favorite movies or does that spoil the magic?
Ok, this week’s entry in the “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” series is a bit troubling. I mean, it’s “2001: A Space Odyssey,” right? Well, I don’t know about you but I remember 2001; I remember getting over the Y2K panic; I remember George W. Bush being president. You know what I DON’T remember? Finding a mysterious black monolith on the moon! Know what else I DON’T remember? A manned flight to Jupiter! What the hell is the movie trying to pull?! You know what I think? Now, hear me out, don’t just call me a conspiracy nut or anything, but I think that this whole thing . . . now, hear me out . . . was filmed on a SOUNDSTAGE IN HOLLYWOOD! By acclaimed film director Stanley Kubrick! Yeah, fine, call me crazy, sure, it all looks real, but someone is trying to fool us all here and we won’t let them get away with it! Max, Mike; Movies: delivering the truth, unvarnished and as it appears to us in our bowls of breakfast cereal! Wake up, sheeple! Give a listen! Learn the truth! The Earth isn’t round, either! It’s burrito-shaped! Hey, LISTEN to us!
Poll question: do you think the bias against genre movies like science fiction or westerns is unfair or do you think it’s right for award nominations to go mostly to so-called “real” movies?
Please check out this week’s episode of “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win.” Please do. Please baby, please, baby baby baby please! From that ham-handed reference, you can guess that we’re taking on a Spike Lee movie, specifically “Do The Right Thing”, a movie that didn’t win Best Picture, wasn’t even nominated for Best Picture, but a LOT of people thought was the Best Picture of 1989. Heck, give a listen and hear Mike reveal which Oscar presenter used her time to call out the fact that this movie wasn’t nominated! Hint: it’s not Dame Judy Dench (but if she had been there at the time, I bet she would have said something). Anyway, join us for this remarkable, if not easily-watched, movie and stock up on D-cells for your tape player!
Poll question: what is your favorite Samuel L. Jackson performance?
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that this week’s entry in “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” was NOT a thrilling docu-drama about the founding and development about the capital of Alaska. I mean, what a missed opportunity! I was hoping to see the on-screen portrayals of the prospectors Richard Harris and Joe Juneau as they struggle to the death to see who gets to name the city (ok, the current name of the city is kind of a spoiler) but imagine Graham Greene as the Tlingit Chief Kowee! Abe Vigoda as the crusty but loveable general store owner! They could have done a touching story about the dog Patsy Anne, the official Canine Greeter of Juneau, or had a massive musical number where everyone does the Ice Worm Wiggle (I’m not making any of that up). Sigh. Ok, so I guess we did get a pretty ok movie about teen pregnancy, with an awesome soundtrack, great performances and some razor-sharp Diablo Cody dialogue but I can’t help think about . . . what could have been . . .
Poll question: What is your favorite Michael Cera performance?
Welcome to Max Foster Levine and No One Else; Movies. I, and I alone, have come up with our new series “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win.” and don’t you forget it! Yes, yes, I may have had some partner or other at some point but I sent him packing when he showed his vast lack of vision at my brilliant choice of “Citizen Kane” as an example of the Worst Movie Ever. Seriously, what a stinker. You all have probably never even heard of this turkey, given the hideous performances, ludicrous script, and barf-inducing direction and camera work by some hack who sold frozen peas. Everyone hates this movie. Yes, they do! Don’t tell me what you think, I’ll tell YOU what you think! You hear me?! My opinions of movies are the only ones that matter!! You all listen to me and no one else! LISTEN TO ME! I’M MAX FOSTER LEVINE AND I . . . I . . . I . . . my heart . . . {thud} . . . . . {whispered} In July . . . .
Poll question: what do you think is the best motion picture ever made? Not necessarily your favorite, but the best made?
Somewheeeerre, off in the podcast Movies play And my buddy and me chat About them throughout the day. Somewhere, off in the podcast, We’ll talk flicks. And we’ll just keep on talking ’cause we’re a pair of . . . Um, ok, that’s enough singing for now!
Yes, believe it or not, the classic “The Wizard of Oz” was nominated for but did not win Best Picture for 1939! Jiminy Cricket! How did this happen? Did the Academy just not have any brains that year? Did their collective heart turn to stone? Did they have no courage? Did they all desperately want to return to Kansas? Give a listen to this week’s “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” and find out! Run, Toto, run!
Poll question: what is your favorite theme song from a non-musical movie?
We’ve got us a brand-new series! How often does that happen? Well, pretty often, but that’s part of the magic! This week, we’re kicking off our series “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” where we discuss movies that seemed like a lock for the Best Picture Oscar but instead were cruelly and viciously stomped upon by some other film that took their statue, stole their lunch money, and made fun of them at recess. That’s how the Academy works; don’t dispute me! Our first nominee is 2005’s “Brokeback Mountain,” a beautiful and heartbreaking story of love, social expectations, toxic masculinity, and a bunch of other stuff that I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING SHUT UP! Sure, this movie is terrific, but was its Oscar loss understandable? Or were there . . . other factors (I’m looking at you, Illuminati!)
Poll question: what’s your favorite filmic love story?
