Episode 240 – The Room (2003)

And so, we come to the close of our “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” series and what a ride it’s been! How can we choose the proper film to close out a series that focuses on memorable dialogue, clever quips, hilarious bon mots and the like? Did we choose a towering classic? No. Did we choose an adaptation from a great work of literature? No, no we did not. Did we choose a film that has left a very clear mark on the cinematic landscape? . . . you know, yes, we kinda did. Keep in mind that “leaving a mark” can mean many different things. It can be a shining monument to a concept or idea. It can be terrible scar that changes the viewer forever. Or it can be an unbelievable, horrendous mess left smeared across the film stock that leaves one shaking one’s head and talking randomly to household plants. Guess which of these definitions fits this week’s movie . . . gee, you didn’t even need to the other two guesses. Yes, this week Mike and I don our hazmat suits and plunge waist-deep into the industrial waste disaster that is Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room,” a baffling cinematic extrusion that has somehow become a twenty-year phenomenon as a cult movie at midnight shows. Does this movie deserve to join the ranks of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and “Rock and Roll High School”? Is it so-bad-it’s-good or is it just so-bad-that-the-creator-should-be-thrown-in-a-sack-and-beaten-with-reeds? Join us and find out, HANH? Don’t worry about it!

Poll question: what movie did you go into expecting to hate or be bored by but ended up really enjoying?

P.S. In case anyone is interested, this is the source of the tile of this current series: https://youtu.be/_2LqmcjIeMU?t=85

Episode 239 – National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)

All right, Whiteman von Richington, let’s see the report on the most troublesome fraternity here at Max, Mike; University. Oh my . . . filling the school’s swimming pools with Bumpy Pucks . . . starting a ludicrous podcast series called . . . am I reading this right? “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” . . . sounds communist to me, and I should know: I’m a crusty old Dean! . . . doing in-depth analyses of mindless 1970’s comedy films . . . I’ve seen enough! That’s it! Bumpy House is now on quadruple MK-Ultra mega-codeword probation! I won’t rest until I’ve revoked their charter and had all their members rendered down into glue! I tell you . . . wait, what’s this? A picture of Bumpy? With my WIFE??! What . . . how . . . BUMPY HOOOUUUUSSSE!!!!

Join us as we see how well this 1970’s product of the comedy juggernaut that was National Lampoon holds up 45 years later. Yes, it was John Belushi’s breakout role, made a ton of money, and made Donald Sutherland’s accountant cry himself to sleep at night (find out why) but how problematic is the humor here? And, more importantly for this series, how quotable is it? Grab ten thousand marbles and give a listen!

Poll question: Who is the actor, male or female, that you thought we lost way too soon?

Episode 238 – Airplane! (1980)

Well, our “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” series is drawing to a close with this, our penultimate episode and wow, we’ve kinda picked a “Whoops-All-Crunchberries” example of a quotable movie, as so dang much of this Abrahams, Zucker and Zucker production is, and has been, quotable. People who’ve never seen the movie quote it! So, we’re discussing it in our podcast. A podcast? What is it? It’s two silly ninnies sitting around talking about movies, but that’s not important right now. Hmmm. Maybe this flick hasn’t aged as well as we thought. Well, once we get clearance from Clarence and make our donation to the Church of Religious Consciousness (donation = boot to the head), we can get underway. How ‘bout some more coffee, Johnny? But, honestly, how well has this movie actually held up? It’s over forty years old; how have the jokes aged? Any awkward moments? Are people still trying to call me Shirley? And who really is pinch-hitting for Pedro Borbon? Give a listen and find out!

Poll question: what is your favorite cinematic “dream team”? What team of actors/writers/directors/whatever, any combination thereof, do you love to see?

Episode 237 – Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Episode 237 – Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Well, hello, good folk! Welcome to another in our “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” series! Michael is just coming into the grand salon . . . oh, do be careful with that long two-by-four you’re balancing on your shoulder, Michael. Wait, don’t turn around! . . . Goodness, glad I ducked or you might have smote me in the noggin. What a silly mishap that would have been! You’d best turn around again and continue on your way . . . heavens to Betsy, you almost struck me in the cranium again with that lumber! What an unfortunate caprice that would have been! Oh, be sure not to step on that banana peel  . . . oh no! You have stepped on it! And now you have banana smeared all over your shoe! What a ninny you are, Michael! Thank goodness you didn’t fall! Now, put down that board and help me move this seven-tiered wedding cake over to that table next to all the spilled ball-bearings, and hurry! The Dowager Countess and her retinue will be here any moment. Yes, that’s good, let’s put the cake next to that tureen of piping hot soup there, balanced precariously on that pyramid of priceless crystal goblets . . . there we go, no problems at all! Our fete can commence! Strange, though . . . for some reason all this feels . . . disappointing.

Clearly Mike and I have not mastered the subtleties of wacky physical comedy; give a listen and see if Messrs. James Carey and Jeffrey Daniels make a better go of it in this week’s movie “Dumb and Dumber.” Now, where did I put that crate of badly-packed fireworks and jet fuel-soaked cotton balls . . .?

Poll question: what is the dumbest movie you’ve ever seen? You may have liked it, you might have hated it, but you know it was dumb.

Episode 236 – The Princess Bride (1987)

Hello, children. Hello. Welcome to Max, Mike; Storytime. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin. Today we’re reading a fairy-tale that’s a little different. I haven’t read this “Princess Bride” myself, but I’m sure it’ll be every so much fun. Let’s see, just skim over this, make sure it’s ok for the tiny tots . . . there’s the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. Oh, isn’t that nice? And she meets a Handsome Prince who seems . . oh. Huh. Well, that’s not very nice. Oh, but she’s in love with a nice boy from her farm! That’s nice! And he . . . dies? Wait, I think I read that wrong. There’s a pirate, who’s a good guy? Oh, and an Evil Giant . . . who actually isn’t evil and someone really does die? What? “The Pit of Despair”? “The Machine”?! Ok, boys and girls, Uncle Max isn’t too sure this is such a good story for you to . . . hey, where did you get all those knives? You should be careful! Knives are only for grownups because . . . ow! Why, you little . . . ok, ok, I’ll keep reading, just untie Uncle Mike! Wait, what do you mean “he likes it”? What’s happening here?!

If any movie is quotable, it’s this one. But how does this almost forty-year old film adaptation of a novel that pretends to be an adaptation of a much older (and nonexistent) book hold up? Is it as iconic as people think? Inconceivable! And no, I don’t know what that word means!

Poll question: Who is your favorite athlete turned actor? Or do you think athletes should just stay in their lane?

Episode 235 – The Big Lebowski (1998)

Ok, man, like, we’ve got another entry in “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” and man, I don’t know, it’s just really . . . y’know? I mean, it’s the Coen brothers, man, there’s beverages involved. You gotta pay attention; life does not start and stop at your convenience, Donnie! So give a listen and find out if there’s a rug that ties this podcast together or if we’re all just stuck in a nihilist world, man. Pour yourself a Caucasian, light up a jay . . . I mean, this is a very complicated movie. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous. And a lotta quotes. So many quotes! So join us or . . . you know, what? F*** it, Mike, let’s go bowling. Ok, we can go bowling AFTER the podcast. Fine, man. Just do me a favor: ease up on the cussin’. Come and abide with us.

Seriously, for many people this movie is a revelation, a way of life or even a fashion choice. The Dude’s iconic outfit resides now in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Museum. Don’t believe me? Behold! Photographic evidence from Mike himself.

Poll question: What’s your favorite cinematic twisty-turny whodunit?

Episode 234 – Murder by Death (1976)

Ahhhhh, my dear detectives! So kind of you all to join us here at our little “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” soiree! We hope you’ve enjoyed the aperitifs and the sparkling conversation because . . . none of you are leaving here alive! Unless, that is, you can solve this mind-manglingly difficult puzzle we know set before you! Ahahahahaha! Yes, to solve this puzzle, you will need to solve a series of deadly challenges, each worse than the one before. In the end, these challenges will help you solve this lethal riddle: what walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in . . . what? Uhhh . ..  look, you’re not just supposed to yell out the answer! How could you know?! You haven’t solved any of the deadly challenges! You’re not supposed to . . . yes, yes, you’re right, I need to sit down. Fine. Unbolt the doors, disable the spike traps, lock up the piranha-chickens. Whole evening is just ruined. Get out! Jerks.

This week we bring you a movie that Mike and I have been quoting incessantly for decades, even when begged repeatedly to stop, for the love of all the gods, knock it off. No! Not us! Check out this Neil Simon wacky comedy which lampoons murder mysteries and a number of the most famous literary detectives this side of Nero Wolfe! Does it hold up after almost half a century? And what’s going on with Peter Sellers playing . . . oh, dear . . . well, give a listen and find out.

Poll question: identify a quotable movie with one line that is NOT one of the best known quotes; no “Play it, Sam” or “I don’t think we’re in Kansas any more” or “Inconceivable!”

Episode 233 – Mean Girls (2004)

“To be or not to be . . .”

“Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven!”

“Help! That dingo’s got my baby!”

Ah, classic quotes! We do love them, don’t we? That’s why we here at Max, Mike; Movies have started a brand-new series entitled “Quotes, Unquotes, and Quotes” dedicated to the most quotable movies that we happen to think of at the time. You know, those movies that give us memorable lines that even people who’ve never seen the movie toss around. And we’re starting off with a movie that neither Max nor Mike has ever seen before, Tina Fey’s “Mean Girls” (the movie, not the Broadway show. We haven’t seen either). Join us as we travel back to a time when high school girls could be just awful to each other without the added tools of social media and the internet. Give a listen, see what quotes we scrounged from this, and find out if it is indeed possible to “make ‘fetch’ happen.” P.S. Extra Bumpybux if anyone can identify the origin of the series title!

Poll question: what is your favorite “high school” movie?