Episode 333 – Nosferatu (2024)

Good eeeeevening. Ve bid you velcome to our humble series “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That 3: the ReBelievening”. We are your vun! Two! Two hosts! AH AH AH AH! {THUNDERCLAP}, Count Max and Just-Learned-To-Count Mike, here in Castle MaxMikeMoviesStein. Zis veek, ve are discussing a true feel-good romp that vill make ze cheeldren of de night make de most beautiful music: 2024’s “Nosferatu.” A remake/tribute/vot-haff-you of the slanderous movies of ze same name from 1922 and 1979, zis varm, family-friendly delight tells ze story of a lovable but misunderstood nobleman and his adorable band of plague rats who just vant to be luffed. Is zat so wronk? Jolly Count Orlok only vants to leave his drafty, old castle in Transylvania and move into a new, modern, drafty old castle in Wisburg, Germany, vere his crush, Ellen, liffs. But Ellen has never even met the genial, bumbling Count! Oh no! Such vacky hijinks vill ensue! Voops, Orlok has killed and eaten the entire crew of the ship carrying him to his new home. Zany! Oh, no! Orlok, in his hurry to bring his new girlfriend a basket of posies or something, has accidentally released a ravening plague upon Wisburg, killing hundreds! Who hasn’t made ze same mistake, am I right, fellas? So relatable! So, pull up a coffin, gather any sweet, succulent cheeldren you might haff around, and enjoy your favorite drink while we discuss “Nosferatu.” Just not vine. Ve do not drink . . . vine.

Poll question: What is your favorite horror movie and why?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 332 – Carrie (1976)

High school, am I right? The combination of the onslaught of puberty, dealing with new people, peer pressure . . . everyone has their own nightmare. But what is the most terrifying thing about high school? Teenage girls. Well, if you’re a teenage boy, anyway (although I’ve heard this same thing from some former teenage girls so maybe I’m on to something). What terrors they command: they might laugh at us, they might start vicious rumors about us, they might not invite us to the “cool” party, they might shatter our bones with their telekinetic powers . . . hm? Really? That didn’t happen to any of you? Just me? Actually, wait, did that actually happen to me or am I once again unable to distinguish reality from a movie I just watched. Man, I hate when that happens; it was especially embarrassing after “Cats” . . . but anyway! This week’s entry in our series “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That 3: the ReBelievening” is Stephen King’s first film adaptation of his first novel “Carrie,” a movie about a shy, tortured teenager with mysterious powers. It also stars William Katt, and I have to take a moment here to say to Brian De Palma, this movie’s director: you missed a golden opportunity for a Stephen King/Greatest American Hero crossover. That would have been one for the ages. But is the actual movie one for the ages? Give a listen and find out what we think!

Poll question: what’s your favorite Steven King adaptation?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 331 – Moon (2009)

Ah, the Moon. Distant. Mysterious. Probably not made of cheese (or that’s what they WANT you to believe). Its light is great for dancing . . . in.  That’s what we call a “Moondance,” and what a marvelous night it is for one! Sometimes it’s a “Blue Moon”, sometimes we have to beg it to “Shine On, Harvest Moon.” There might be a “Man on the Moon!” See those women over there? They might be “Sisters of the Moon!” You don’t know, they might be! Why are you arguing with me?! Do you see a “Bad Moon Rising”? Just listen to that “Moonlight Serenade”! Some say it’s “Only a Paper Moon” but you’d think it would fall apart after a while. Or get soggy from all that space humidity But what’s that behind you?! Are you being followed by a “Moonshadow”?! Call the proper authorities! But this week’s cinematic tribute to the Moon, in our series “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That 3: the ReBelievening,” is titled simply “Moon” and Max has never seen it!  And yes, there’s a guy “Walking on the Moon” and that guy is Sam Rockwell! More than once, too (check out the show; you’ll see what I mean). Join us and see if the moon hits our eye like a big pizza pie, and if we need subsequent medical treatment or corneal grafts! And consider the question: “flag on the moon . . . how did it get there?” Whoooaaaaaaaa . . .

Poll question: what is one of your favorite movies and why? Comment or call our hotline at 617-398-7266.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 330 – Saturday Night Fever (1977)

Welcome back, ‘Super Freaks’! We’re cool and groovin’ our ‘Good Times’ here in our “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3: The Rebelievening” and we’re going to ‘Get Down Tonight’ with that ‘Disco Inferno’ of a movie “Saturday Night Fever”! Why? Because Mike’s never seen it, so we’re going to ‘Turn the Beat Around’ in a ‘Celebration’ of the disco era! We’re not trying to be ‘Bad Girls’ here, we just ‘Love the Nightlife’. So come and ‘Boogie Oogie Oogie’ with us and see what made John Travolta’s film career ‘Hustle’ on up to the top! Mike and me, ‘We Are Family,’ so we’re in this together with you! Because who doesn’t loathe love disco? I certainly do one of those things! I don’t want to ‘Rock the Boat’ here in this ‘Boogie Wonderland’ but while this movie thinks ‘You Should Be Dancing,’ we’d like it if you’d give us a listen while you pick out your favorite leisure suit and see which of your bell-bottoms flare out the widest! Not to worry, I’m not coming down with ‘Night Fever’, I’m just barely ‘Stayin’ Alive’, reliving the hellscape that was disco. I have to stop now. If I keep quoting disco song titles, I’m not sure that ‘I Will Survive’ DAMMIT!!!!!

Poll question: what style of music would you like to see more represented in movies?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 329 – Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Oi, oi, oi, me old tatters and whiskey! In this week’s nobble and flonk, by which I mean “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3: The Rebelievening,” your ol’ nachos and carburetors Max and Mike are taking a bit of a what’s-that-pancreas at Guy Ritchie’s “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.” That’s a bit of the ol’ knee joints and lava lamps, innit? Too right! This here framistat’s-knickers is one serious right-in-the-bollocks, you can bet your Uncle Ernie’s dialysis machine! And I’m not just needlin’ the ham sandwich with the ol’ penguin relish garnish, eh? We got thrills, violence, Sting, more violence, a floor-swaddling soundtrack, and did I mention violence? Bet your third cousin’s beehive muskrat I did! Not to mention loads of Cockney rhyming slang, which unlike the load of rhesus monkey dandelions I’ve been tossing about isn’t completely made up out of my own neck-topper! Bugger me bubble-and-squeak but me standard linguistic skills have totally gone chambermaid’s diploma because of all this! Someone call the odd’s bullywogs! I mean the poodle-fluff rampy-stamp! I mean the Heisenberg shrimp kebabs! I mean . .

Poll question: what is your favorite heist movie?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 328 – Diner (1982)

Hiya, folks! Good to see you here at the Max, Mike; Movies Diner! Sit wherever you like, fire up your podcast app and listen to our tasty selections!

  • Today’s Special: “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3!” – 10 Bumpybux
    • With “The ReBelievening” Sauce – 13 Bumpybux
  • The Barry Levinson (A Reuben sandwich but with more Oscar potential) – 8 Bumpybux
  • The Mickey Rourke (Meatloaf sandwich; order it fast, while it still looks good. That won’t last.) – 7 Bumpybux
  • The Kevin Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato (solid, reliable, heated to six degrees) – 9 Bumpybux
  • The Daniel Stern (a hotdog wrapped in a pancake and garnished with Captain Crunch cereal; perfect for takeout to eat Home Alone) – 7.5 Bumpybux
  • The Tim Daly (spam and Velveeta on white bread with mayonnaise) – 6 Bumpybux
  • The Paul Reiser (ham sandwich, dry and amusing, spicy mustard, extra ham. You’ll be Mad about It) – 7 Bumpybux
  • The Ellen Barkin (hot tomato. Extra hot. Really hot) – 9 Bumpybux
  • The Steve Guttenberg (who cares. Order this and we punch you in the face) – 1 punch in the face.
  • The Left Side of the Menu (all our best ground, fried, and grilled pony recipes) – We pay you 25 Bumpybux

Poll question: What specific location do you think has been over-used in movies? Coffee shop? Front seat of a car? Comment here or call our hotline at 617-398-7266.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 327 – Quadrophenia (1979)

Good evening one and all. We’ve got a ripping new series here, haven’t we? Yes, we have. We’re revisiting a favorite of ours with “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That 3: The Re-Believening.” Me old china Mike and I have come up with a little list each, listing movies everyone assumes we’ve seen but what ho, we bally haven’t, wot wot? We’re starting off all tickety-boo while Mike chose from my list and how’s your father? but I’ve never seen the movie “Quadrophenia”! Crumbs! It’s true, though! So, this week we’re seeing a bit of a to do from some lovely British minstrels who’ve thrown a tune or two together so I can finally see what all the fuss is about, eh wot? Brilliant! Too right! I’m sure these fellows in that little combo The Whom (I’ve taken the liberty of correcting the grammar, something I’m sure they would have done had they gotten ‘round to it) and we’ll see what all the bother is about some lot called The Mods and listen to some jolly nice tunes. I do hope they don’t get too raucous, but let’s see . . . oh. Oh my. Um . . . bit loud, innit? Well, I’m nothing if not hip to the young people and their Big Bands so . . . oh, dear me . . . that’s not . . . that’s not actual vulgarity, is it? Oh, my . . . Mater! Do fetch me my smelling salts, won’t you? Ta! God save the King! Apples and pears! Bubble and squeak!

Poll question: what celebrity cameo threw you out of the story?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 326 – His Kind of Woman (1951)

I looked at the recently-dug grave and read the name on cheap headstone: “Remember! You Asked for It!” I considered how ironic irony can be. Ironically. It was hard reading the headstone upside down, and the heavy rain was pouring up my nose. Maybe hanging upside down from a tree branch wasn’t the most dignified way to lay a perfectly good series to rest, but life can be funny that way. Not “ha ha” funny, like hanging upside down by your knees in a tree in a cemetery is . . . c’mon, that’s pretty funny, right? But funny in the other way. As I swung slowly back and forth, the tree bark shredding the thinning fabric of my lederhosen, I pondered about the fundamental unfairness of the universe. Why? Why did so many good series have to end, while evil, vile, revolting ponies clip-clopped around, alive and free? What did it all mean? Why did this series in particular have to end with a 1951 Robert Mitchum/Jane Russell film noir? Why would Val Kuhns, the creator of the Second Greatest Known Podcast suggest such a movie to us? And how much would it hurt when my knees gave out and I fell from the tree branch onto the upturned rakes that I had previously not noticed directly below me? I guess we’d never know the answers to some of these questions . . . but I was pretty damn sure I’d find out the answer to that last one any minute . . . give a listen before my legs give out.

Poll question: is there a country, other than the U.S., whose movies you particularly enjoy?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 325 – Brother to Brother (2004)

This week’s penultimate entry in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series comes from Keith Wright and is heavily rooted in the lyricism and magic of the Harlem Renaissance, a time of remarkable literature, theater, and art. One of the historically-real main characters in this film, Bruce Nugent was known as a great jazz poet and he has inspired me to try my hand at some freeform jazz poetry. Dig it:

I see a bird
Hey, bird.
You’ve got wings. And feathers.
I think you’re eating part of a bagel, bird.
That’s wild.
Eat your bagel, bird. Then fly away. And look for more bagels.

Um . . . maybe it would be better with some jazz clarinet behind it? Sigh. Ok . . . so maybe jazz poetry isn’t really my medium. It’s certainly not well-done, but from now on it will be rare. See what I did there? Did I make you forget about the poem? No? Damnit . . . Well, fortunately our show is better than my poetry (as are most things). Give a listen!

Poll question: what kind of movie would you like to see more of in theaters right now?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 324 – Six String Samurai (1998)

Ok, before anyone gets too excited, I should point out that this week’s entry in “Remember! You Asked For It!”, suggested by Tyler Stewart, is NOT the much-awaited sequel to “Kubo and the Two Strings.” I know, I know, I was disappointed too but I should have been tipped off by the fact that the movie would have skipped strings three, four, and five. That’s on me. What we have here instead is a bizarre cult movie with martial arts fury, swordplay, an annoying kid, a Russian band called The Red Elvises, and a literal manifestation of the classic struggle between Rock and Roll and Heavy Metal. I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, man, AGAIN?” But did I mention the bitchin’ soundtrack? No? Well, that’s on me again. Not my day, really. But let us help you make this YOUR day and listen in to our discussion of “Six String Samurai” and the power of RAAWWWWKKK!!!

Poll question: what is your favorite what-if-this-happened “alternative history” movie?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS