Once upon a weekend dreary, while I pondered, drunk and bleary,
Over many a scratched and stainéd film, inducing quite a snore –
On the toilet I sat crapping, while the weekend I was mapping
In my head, my brain foot-tapping, hoping not to be a bore.
Surely there is something more!
Ah, distinctly I remember! It was May, no, wait, December!
Or maybe bleak November, I don’t know, my head is sore.
As I sat there nearly napping, from outside there came a tapping,
As if someone loudly rapping, rapping on the bathroom door!
Me: “One more minute, I implore!”
Then a voice, like some longshoreman, said: “’tis I, dead Roger Corman!
Do not open up the door, man, for that stench I can’t ignore!
Dead I may be, there’s no question, but I make this kind suggestion,
Someone should check your digestion, for that smell is bad, oh lor’!
If I weren’t dead already, it would kill me, that’s for shore!”
“Why haunt me, o movie shaman” I inquired, my face a-flamin’
My effluvia you’re shamin’, so what brings you to my door?”
“If a movie you are cravin’, go and watch my film ‘The Raven’,
Your podcast, it will be savin’, oh such pleasures are in store!”
And with that, he was no more!
So, I sat there, breathing fumes in, no it didn’t smell like cumin.
Shut your face, I’m only human! Does yours like roses smell?
Was the phantom truly speaking . . . oh lord, no, the toilet’s leaking!
It is out that I am freaking! Dear gods, this is surely hell!
How’s the movie? We shall tell!
Poll question: which author’s works do you most enjoy seeing adapted into film?
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We saw this movie last week! I thought they showed in channel 56 in a double feature with “ the terror” which was AWFUL, not this is good. Mike never read the poem the Raven before? Wow. I suggest “Alone” as another Poe Poem well worth reading.
I thought a bit about what authors books i have seen and liked as films and Victor Hugo and Jules Verne are high on the list because Hugo has some great silent adaptations like The Man who laughs, hunchback of Notre Dame and the Hands of Orloc ( Peter lore’s version is called mad love and is a study in creepy perversity) while even bad Verne films gets my attention because the base story always draws me in. Master of the world has Vincent Price and charles bronson in it and I thought it was a Corman film, but it isn’t but maybe you guys can do a Jules verne on film series?
Cool choices with Hugo and Verne, Vince! I know Mike is a big fan of “Captain Nemo and the Underwater City,” which is at least Verne-adjacent. An entire Verne series might be interesting! Or maybe mix in some H.G. Wells, do a whole “Victorian Science Fiction” section. Hmmm . . . thanks for the idea!
HG Wells has a lot of variety in the movies made from his books, good call! There are a ton of authors who could get their own series.