Max, Mike; Movies!

Welcome to the Diamond Jubilee episode of “Max, Mike; Movies”! Yes, we’re celebrating our 75^th episode, and the latest in our series “Get ‘em, Jimmy!”, the best and worst of the Bond franchise.  I know, “Diamonds Are Forever” might have been more appropriate, but there you go. This week we move from one of the best Bond films to one of the . . . less best.  We now find ourselves in the Roger Moore period and while some of Sir Roger’s turns as Bond were decent . . . this ain’t one of them.  This film came out two years after that little indie flick “Star Wars”, and gosh, the kids just love the sci-fi, don’t they just? So to capitalize on this s-f trend, we get BOND . . . IN . . . SPAAAAAACE! So many of the worst Bond clichés in this one: women as disposable props, a villain (Drax. Sadly not the one from “Guardians of the Galaxy”) who looks like he shops and gets his hair done at the Big Mall O’ Supervillains, and the second appearance of one of the most cartoonish henchman, Jaws, played by the towering Richard Kiel who is very good at being tall.  So, what can we expect from this one? Will James Bond leave his life as a humble British moisture farmer to try to destroy a nasty space evil? Does Jaws bite off Bond’s hand? Will it turn out that Drax is actually Bond’s father? Tune in and find out!

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Well, Double-oh Seven, we’ve got some new equipment for you. Yes, this is the latest in Daniel Craigs and he’ll be playing you from now on.  Try to return him, along with your other equipment, intact for once, there’s a good chap.  Yes, in our latest installment of “Get ‘em, Jimmy!” we take on the first of the Bond movies starring Daniel Craig, replacing Pierce Brosnan, “Casino Royale.”  Technically this is not the first adaptation of “Casino Royale,” but this one actually bears some vague resemblance to the book.  And isn’t a comedy. And doesn’t have Woody Allen in it. And no, I’m not making that up.  You want a weird experience? Check out the 1967 “Casino Royale” starring David Niven.  It’s about as far as you can get from the 2006 movie.  Which is what we’re talking about.  Just want to make that very clear.

Where was I? Where am I? Where’s the fire escape, and where’s my pants?

*Harumph* well, yes, so Daniel Craig! This movie gives us a very different sort of Bond.  Less gentleman-about-town, more ex-rugby player (which, to be fair, Craig is).  Does it work? Join us and see if we can answer the question Glinda the Good asks Dorothy: “Are you a good Bond or a bad Bond?” That’s the quote. Don’t dispute me. And Judy Garland would have made an awesome James Bond. Am I right? Who’s with me? . . . How did these crickets get in here?

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‘allo, ‘allo, ‘allo, what’s all this then? Why it’s another episode in our series “Get ‘em, Jimmy!” wherein we discuss the highs and lows of the James Bond franchise.  Last week we talked about a film that is generally regarded as one of the best Bond films; this week we’re talking about one that . . . um . . . is not.  Yes, this week we’re jamming diamonds into our faces and revving up our invisible cars to talk about “Die Another Day,” one of the Pierce Brosnan Bond outings, with guest star Halle Berry (and by “guest star” we mean “person we wish the movie had been about”).  And who else shows up? Why it’s Agent Madonna! No really, the Material Girl provides the theme song (go ahead; try to remember any of that song.  I dare you) and provides minutes of what could be construed, broadly, as entertainment; she plays that classic Bond supporting character that everyone knows: Verity the Fencing Instructor.  Remember when all the kids were dressing up as Verity the Fencing Instructor for Halloween . . . ? When was that? Oh right: never.  What’s the problem with this movie? Would there were only one.  Give a listen and see what sort of a rum go we’re in for, wot wot?

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Sit down and pay attention, Double-oh Seven. We’re starting a new series here at MMM6 and it involves one Mr. Bond.  James Bond.  Yes, our new series, elegantly titled “Get ‘em, Jimmy!”, deals with that super-spy of super-spies, the man who can rock a tuxedo better than anyone while ordering a watered-down martini (they’re SUPPOSED to be stirred, so the ice doesn’t chip and melt too fast), and a character who has been portrayed by six different actors (seven if you count David Niven . . . but we don’t talk about that. Much), representing all the countries in the United Kingdom.  This is a film franchise that has spanned half a century and 24 films (26 if you count the first “Casino Royale” and “Never Say Never Again”) and that’s not including the one coming out in 2020.  The Bond films have been a major part of our movie-going experience for generations.  In this series, Mike and I will be discussing the highs and lows of the franchise, alternating the best of Bond with the worst of Bond.  The Bond films are the proverbial pretty little girl with the pretty little curl right in the middle of her forehead; when they’re good, they’re very, very good, and when they’re bad, well, they can really Blofeld.  This week, we’re starting off with one of the best: “From Russia With Love,” the second Bond-outing starring Sean Connery (or, as I call him, The One True Bond. Ow! Mike! Quit it! I am too being objective! Quit it!).  Um, anyway, Sean Connery is cool, I guess, whatever, there’s other good Bonds, maybe, or something mumble mumble mumble I’ll be in my room.  So, sit back, plug in whatever audio device Q branch has supplied you, and give a listen!

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