Episode 330 – Saturday Night Fever (1977)

Welcome back, ‘Super Freaks’! We’re cool and groovin’ our ‘Good Times’ here in our “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3: The Rebelievening” and we’re going to ‘Get Down Tonight’ with that ‘Disco Inferno’ of a movie “Saturday Night Fever”! Why? Because Mike’s never seen it, so we’re going to ‘Turn the Beat Around’ in a ‘Celebration’ of the disco era! We’re not trying to be ‘Bad Girls’ here, we just ‘Love the Nightlife’. So come and ‘Boogie Oogie Oogie’ with us and see what made John Travolta’s film career ‘Hustle’ on up to the top! Mike and me, ‘We Are Family,’ so we’re in this together with you! Because who doesn’t loathe love disco? I certainly do one of those things! I don’t want to ‘Rock the Boat’ here in this ‘Boogie Wonderland’ but while this movie thinks ‘You Should Be Dancing,’ we’d like it if you’d give us a listen while you pick out your favorite leisure suit and see which of your bell-bottoms flare out the widest! Not to worry, I’m not coming down with ‘Night Fever’, I’m just barely ‘Stayin’ Alive’, reliving the hellscape that was disco. I have to stop now. If I keep quoting disco song titles, I’m not sure that ‘I Will Survive’ DAMMIT!!!!!

Poll question: what style of music would you like to see more represented in movies?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 329 – Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Oi, oi, oi, me old tatters and whiskey! In this week’s nobble and flonk, by which I mean “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3: The Rebelievening,” your ol’ nachos and carburetors Max and Mike are taking a bit of a what’s-that-pancreas at Guy Ritchie’s “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.” That’s a bit of the ol’ knee joints and lava lamps, innit? Too right! This here framistat’s-knickers is one serious right-in-the-bollocks, you can bet your Uncle Ernie’s dialysis machine! And I’m not just needlin’ the ham sandwich with the ol’ penguin relish garnish, eh? We got thrills, violence, Sting, more violence, a floor-swaddling soundtrack, and did I mention violence? Bet your third cousin’s beehive muskrat I did! Not to mention loads of Cockney rhyming slang, which unlike the load of rhesus monkey dandelions I’ve been tossing about isn’t completely made up out of my own neck-topper! Bugger me bubble-and-squeak but me standard linguistic skills have totally gone chambermaid’s diploma because of all this! Someone call the odd’s bullywogs! I mean the poodle-fluff rampy-stamp! I mean the Heisenberg shrimp kebabs! I mean . .

Poll question: what is your favorite heist movie?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 328 – Diner (1982)

Hiya, folks! Good to see you here at the Max, Mike; Movies Diner! Sit wherever you like, fire up your podcast app and listen to our tasty selections!

  • Today’s Special: “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3!” – 10 Bumpybux
    • With “The ReBelievening” Sauce – 13 Bumpybux
  • The Barry Levinson (A Reuben sandwich but with more Oscar potential) – 8 Bumpybux
  • The Mickey Rourke (Meatloaf sandwich; order it fast, while it still looks good. That won’t last.) – 7 Bumpybux
  • The Kevin Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato (solid, reliable, heated to six degrees) – 9 Bumpybux
  • The Daniel Stern (a hotdog wrapped in a pancake and garnished with Captain Crunch cereal; perfect for takeout to eat Home Alone) – 7.5 Bumpybux
  • The Tim Daly (spam and Velveeta on white bread with mayonnaise) – 6 Bumpybux
  • The Paul Reiser (ham sandwich, dry and amusing, spicy mustard, extra ham. You’ll be Mad about It) – 7 Bumpybux
  • The Ellen Barkin (hot tomato. Extra hot. Really hot) – 9 Bumpybux
  • The Steve Guttenberg (who cares. Order this and we punch you in the face) – 1 punch in the face.
  • The Left Side of the Menu (all our best ground, fried, and grilled pony recipes) – We pay you 25 Bumpybux

Poll question: What specific location do you think has been over-used in movies? Coffee shop? Front seat of a car? Comment here or call our hotline at 617-398-7266.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 327 – Quadrophenia (1979)

Good evening one and all. We’ve got a ripping new series here, haven’t we? Yes, we have. We’re revisiting a favorite of ours with “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That 3: The Re-Believening.” Me old china Mike and I have come up with a little list each, listing movies everyone assumes we’ve seen but what ho, we bally haven’t, wot wot? We’re starting off all tickety-boo while Mike chose from my list and how’s your father? but I’ve never seen the movie “Quadrophenia”! Crumbs! It’s true, though! So, this week we’re seeing a bit of a to do from some lovely British minstrels who’ve thrown a tune or two together so I can finally see what all the fuss is about, eh wot? Brilliant! Too right! I’m sure these fellows in that little combo The Whom (I’ve taken the liberty of correcting the grammar, something I’m sure they would have done had they gotten ‘round to it) and we’ll see what all the bother is about some lot called The Mods and listen to some jolly nice tunes. I do hope they don’t get too raucous, but let’s see . . . oh. Oh my. Um . . . bit loud, innit? Well, I’m nothing if not hip to the young people and their Big Bands so . . . oh, dear me . . . that’s not . . . that’s not actual vulgarity, is it? Oh, my . . . Mater! Do fetch me my smelling salts, won’t you? Ta! God save the King! Apples and pears! Bubble and squeak!

Poll question: what celebrity cameo threw you out of the story?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 326 – His Kind of Woman (1951)

I looked at the recently-dug grave and read the name on cheap headstone: “Remember! You Asked for It!” I considered how ironic irony can be. Ironically. It was hard reading the headstone upside down, and the heavy rain was pouring up my nose. Maybe hanging upside down from a tree branch wasn’t the most dignified way to lay a perfectly good series to rest, but life can be funny that way. Not “ha ha” funny, like hanging upside down by your knees in a tree in a cemetery is . . . c’mon, that’s pretty funny, right? But funny in the other way. As I swung slowly back and forth, the tree bark shredding the thinning fabric of my lederhosen, I pondered about the fundamental unfairness of the universe. Why? Why did so many good series have to end, while evil, vile, revolting ponies clip-clopped around, alive and free? What did it all mean? Why did this series in particular have to end with a 1951 Robert Mitchum/Jane Russell film noir? Why would Val Kuhns, the creator of the Second Greatest Known Podcast suggest such a movie to us? And how much would it hurt when my knees gave out and I fell from the tree branch onto the upturned rakes that I had previously not noticed directly below me? I guess we’d never know the answers to some of these questions . . . but I was pretty damn sure I’d find out the answer to that last one any minute . . . give a listen before my legs give out.

Poll question: is there a country, other than the U.S., whose movies you particularly enjoy?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 325 – Brother to Brother (2004)

This week’s penultimate entry in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series comes from Keith Wright and is heavily rooted in the lyricism and magic of the Harlem Renaissance, a time of remarkable literature, theater, and art. One of the historically-real main characters in this film, Bruce Nugent was known as a great jazz poet and he has inspired me to try my hand at some freeform jazz poetry. Dig it:

I see a bird
Hey, bird.
You’ve got wings. And feathers.
I think you’re eating part of a bagel, bird.
That’s wild.
Eat your bagel, bird. Then fly away. And look for more bagels.

Um . . . maybe it would be better with some jazz clarinet behind it? Sigh. Ok . . . so maybe jazz poetry isn’t really my medium. It’s certainly not well-done, but from now on it will be rare. See what I did there? Did I make you forget about the poem? No? Damnit . . . Well, fortunately our show is better than my poetry (as are most things). Give a listen!

Poll question: what kind of movie would you like to see more of in theaters right now?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 324 – Six String Samurai (1998)

Ok, before anyone gets too excited, I should point out that this week’s entry in “Remember! You Asked For It!”, suggested by Tyler Stewart, is NOT the much-awaited sequel to “Kubo and the Two Strings.” I know, I know, I was disappointed too but I should have been tipped off by the fact that the movie would have skipped strings three, four, and five. That’s on me. What we have here instead is a bizarre cult movie with martial arts fury, swordplay, an annoying kid, a Russian band called The Red Elvises, and a literal manifestation of the classic struggle between Rock and Roll and Heavy Metal. I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, man, AGAIN?” But did I mention the bitchin’ soundtrack? No? Well, that’s on me again. Not my day, really. But let us help you make this YOUR day and listen in to our discussion of “Six String Samurai” and the power of RAAWWWWKKK!!!

Poll question: what is your favorite what-if-this-happened “alternative history” movie?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 323 – The Anderson Tapes (1971)

Welcome to another episode in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series! This week’s suggestion comes from crime-solving landscape artist Degsy O’Brien (I’m almost certain that’s what he does for a living) and it’s going to be a delightful romp! Yes, I’m pretty sure that this movie is an in-depth look into the life of famous Danish author Hans Christian Anderson. Yes, we get to hear all about his experiences in the Danish secret police, on such exciting missions as “Operation: Thumbelina” and “Code Name: Little Mermaid”. Now keep in mind that the audio quality from these tapes isn’t that great . . . in fact, they aren’t from literal “tapes” because that technology didn’t exist in the mid-19th century, but of course they did have Mr. Edison’s wax cylinder recording technology, which as a member of Danish Intelligence, Hans would have had access to. In fact, I’m pretty sure he carried a tiny portable wax cylinder recorder hidden in his hatband, along with tons of other cool gadgets . . . hah? What’s that? Wax cylinder tech wasn’t invented until two years after Anderson’s death? And he was never a member of Danish Intelligence? Well, of course, they’d deny it . . . whazzat? I’ve been spelling his name wrong? It’s Andersen not Anderson? Ah. I see. I have once again gotten everything wrong. Fine. Fine. Fine. I guess it’s the Bad Boy Box for me, again. But while I’m thinking about what I’ve done, give a listen to our discussion of this 1971 Sidney Lumet film starring Sean Connery (the one that WASN’T “Diamonds Are Forever”). Yes. That makes a bit more sense. Enjoy!

Poll question: What is your favorite Sean Connery performance? 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 322 – The Death of Stalin (2017)

Hello, dear listeners and fellow members of the proletariat! Welcome to another episode in our series “Remember! You Asked For It!”  Well, we find ourselves in a teensy-weensy pickle this week. It seems that somehow, someone got ahold of a pre-post copy of this week’s show about our good chum Daaaaaave’s suggestion “The Death of Stalin.” How zany! Gosh, it appears that there may possibly have been some folks who found our little podcast episode, how shall I put it, maybe an itty-bitty bit unflattering to a particular period in Russian history, particularly the Stalin-esque period of the Soviet Union. I’ve been having a very nice chat with some lovely gentlemen with absolutely charming accents who have been kind enough to very thoroughly express their less-than-satisfied reaction to our little japes and jests and so forth. I just want to assure EVERYONE listening, and not just my new friend Sergei who is helpfully looking over my shoulder as I type, that we meant absolutely no disrespect to Great Father Stalin and if anyone misunderstood any of my silly-billy jokes about “tyranny” and “antisemitism” and “mass murder,” then I would just like to say how incredibly, totally, and sincerely I am sorry and I’m sure Comrade Stalin was a very nice fellow who liked bunny rabbits and so forth and was in no way an alcoholic dictator who caused the deaths of millions of his fellow citizens. What a goofy notion! Oh, how we are all laughing over this wacky misunderstanding? Right, Sergei? Right . . . .? [oh god he’s in the bathroom now somebody help me help me please help m]

Ha ha. The last bit was big funny humor-joke by me, Mark La Vine. Ha ha. We will be laughing now. Move along. Not to see anything here.

Poll question: what is your favorite pollical movie, thriller or otherwise?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Episode 321 – The Fifth Element (1997)

Hullo, children! Hullo! Welcome back to Uncle Max, Uncle Mike; Uncle Movies. Are you sitting comfortably? Good! This week in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series, we’ve got a question from young Julie O’Malley who wants to know all about “The Fifth Element.” Well, Julie, you must be the smartest one in your class! Because not everyone is interested in a fascinating element like Boron, but clearly you are! And why not? Boron, the fifth element on the periodic table, is terribly important! Without Boron to make Borax, our clothes wouldn’t be as clean! We also use Boron to make high-strength glassware. Boron is just so important! Did you know that Bruce Willis AND Milla Jovovich use Boron every day? Ruby Rhod is the official spokesperson for Boron! And here’s a little-known fun fact: Gary Oldman is actually made up of 80% Boron! Isn’t that amazing? And all these wonderful people are in Luc Besson’s calm, quiet, educational film and everywhere you look in this movie, there’s our old friend Boron, quietly toiling away in the windows being shattered by the many, many explosions, in the Boron Carbide fibers for the simulated nuclear reactors, and in Gary Oldman’s cute little glass head shield. Join us and find out why we say “Boron is Boroniffic!”

Poll question: what is your favorite science-fiction movie and why?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS