Author: Max&Mike

Episode 303 – Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Ok, Indy, ok. Enough. It’s too much, you understand? The candy, the flowers, the cards, the singing gorilla-grams . . . it’s gotta stop. Sure, we’re doing a series called “Give Me One More Chance”, and yes, your last movie didn’t exactly smooth over what you did in the movie before it . . . I’m NOT being unreasonable and I NEVER promised I wouldn’t bring it up again! Stop gaslighting me! Ok, ok, don’t cry, geez . . . Look, maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s me. We’ve done this dance so many times. What is this, the fifth time? We had one or two good times but I just don’t think you’re good for me any more. Don’t give me that look . . . oh geez, here we go with the eyes and the hat and everything . . . sigh . . . ok, I tell you what. Mike and I . . . we’ll give your latest thing, that Deal with Destiny or whatever you called it . . . right, right, “Dial of Destiny,” sorry. See, you always over-react . . . never mind, never mind, we’ll check it out again and see what we think, but if it still doesn’t work, that’s it. I don’t want to hear from you again. And I want my Sankara stone back!

Poll question: is there a movie franchise where you actually like most or all of the films in it? Feel free to share your dulcet tones with us and call our Poll Question Hotline at 617-398-7266 and leave us a voicemail.

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Episode 302 – Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

Helloooo, Adventurers! Welcome back to our series “Give Me One More Chance”! Your quest today . . . is to listen to OUR quest today, which is to revisit the most recent attempt to bring the tabletop roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons (a game that Mike and I MIGHT have some teeny, tiny, very slight connection to and experience with) to the silver screen. Silver? Where? Quickly, loot the bodies for silver! Wait, sorry, this is hearkening back to an earlier series. When this movie came out, I had rather muddled feelings about it (which I go into in deep, cleansing detail, which everyone will no doubt enjoy) so I was curious to see how it held up. And how did it hold up? Now, now, that’s giving away the final segment of the quest that involves a lot of team combat and fabulous treasure! Or maybe it just involves a lot of me and Mike talking. And isn’t that the greatest treasure of all? Anyway, give a listen, and if you don’t feel like it, well, nice day for fishin’, ain’t it? Hyuh!

Poll question: there have been a bunch of movies based on games, both tabletop and video. Are any of them any good? Do you have a favorite? If you don’t feel like typing, feel free to call our Poll Question Hotline at 617-398-7266 and leave us a voicemail.

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Episode 301 – Minority Report (2002)

Welcome to another new, minty-fresh, sanitized-for-your-convenience series here at “Max, Mike; Movies”! After 300 episodes, we’re in a forgiving mood. Our hearts are filled with love and whipped hydrogenated oil.  We’ve all been hurt in the past, some of us as recently as this morning (sorry Mike! You just looked so flammable!), by friends, by lov-ahs, and, of course, by movies. So, so many movies have hurt us, disappointed us, mistreated us, drained our bank accounts and shaved our eyebrows . . . so many . . . Sorry, what? But like I say, we’re hoping to forgive (and maybe forget), so we’ve decided to, in the words of the Jackson Five, “Give Me One More Chance.” And by “Me,” we mean movies that we didn’t like on early viewing, or viewings, but have decided they deserve a shot at redemption, because they don’t want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard (bone digger, bone digger) (with thanks to Mr. Paul Simon). We’re leading off this series with Mike’s choice of the Tom Cruise science-fiction effort “Minority Report,” a movie that dares to ask the question “What does Tom Cruise look like with his head shaved?” Join us and find out! Now Mike, show us on this doll where the movie hurt you . . .

Poll question: What movie actor have you most changed your mind about? Used to love them, now you hate them? Or vice versa?

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Episode 300 – Dune: Parts One and Two (2021, 2024)

Three hundred episodes! Who would have believed it? It seems like only yesterday that people were asking us “why are you bothering?” over and over and over. Then came the genuine incredulity, the open hostility, the petitions begging us to stop, the changes in city zoning laws to try to outlaw us, the angry mobs, the torches, the screaming and wailing, and the violence, the savage, brutal violence (ok, that was mostly perpetrated by me against Mike, but still!). But we persevered! We ignored the naysayers, the reasoned arguments, the sobbing of relatives and close friends . . . no human or pony could stop us! And why?! Because shut up, that’s why! And what could we possibly choose as our subject after our titanic (and ponderous) 100th and 200th episodes? Why, one of the most titanic and ponderous science fiction novels ever, and more importantly, its recent two-movie adaptation! Yes, we’re talking “Dune Part One” and “Dune Part Two: Electric Sandaloo”, directed by Dennis Villeneuve. Forget everything Anakin Skywalker ever told you about sand and come explore this sprawling, ever-so-sandy epic with us!

Seriously, it’s been so great doing this podcast and I’m so glad Mike got me to do this by threatening to release those incriminating documents . . . I mean, by saying “hey, wanna do a podcast?” We are also so grateful to our surprisingly attractive listeners and our astonishingly erudite and eloquent commenters. Thank you so much for listening, commenting, and suggesting cool new series ideas! Hope you stay with us for the next three hundred episodes!

Poll question: What movie that was actually released do you think should never have been released? What movie would the world be better off without?

Answer via our hotline, if you like: 617-398-7266

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Episode 299 – The Fantastic Four (1994 . . . sort of)

Welcome to the final Roger Corman episode (no, really, we mean it this time) in our mini-series “Be Adjacent to the Cor-Man.” Super-hero movies: can you believe there was a time when they weren’t being released on a daily basis? This dim and distant era was called “The 1990’s” and we didn’t have any of this fancy CGI crap or compelling stories or talented actors! No! We had to stuff hamsters into tiny spandex body suits and tie little capes around their necks and try to get them to fight while we played the ”Carmina Burana” in the background! You think that was easy? Do you know how hard it is to get hamsters to fight ANYTHING? I do! Never mind how I know! But in this dark and strange time, all we had to eat was cardboard and wooly mammoth jerky (and the occasional hamster, but never mind about that). And the only decent superhero movies we had were a couple of Superman and Batman films. Where was Marvel Comics in all this? Making terrible Captain America movies, that’s where! Well, Roger Corman and others decided that there was a need and they filled it! Well, sort of. I mean, they started to fill it and . . . or maybe someone else didn’t want them filling it . . . because this was the film the Fantastic Four needed, but not the film it deserved . . . it’s complicated. Because I’m Batman! [editor’s note: Max is in no way, shape, or form Batman]. Anyway, here is the very first film adaptation of Marvel’s First Family that was never actually released because it was so . . . good? Give a listen and find out.

Poll question: What did you think of the recent two-movie adaptation of Frank Herbert’s Dune?

Get this: you can call our super-special-awesome Max, Mike; Movies Hotline™ and record your response! Leave us a message and we’ll use it on the show. Just call 617-398-7266! No operators are standing by!

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Episode 298 – Grand Theft Auto (1977)

We thought we were free of the Cor-Man, but we’ve decided to do him true honor, we must honor the films that he may not have directed but that are still covered in his sweaty hand-prints, and this week is no different . . . from this week. We’re taking on 1977’s “Grand Theft Auto,” the directorial debut of one Opie Cunningham . . . I mean, Ron Howard! Yes, before he started winning Oscars and Saturn Awards (but after appearing in “Valley of the Giants” and “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father” [the movie, not the tv show]) Little Ronnie directed and starred in this car-based romantic comedy action film, written by none other than his dear old dad, the great Rance Howard (R.I.P.), who also appears in the film with his sonny boy. How well does this family affair hold up after so many years? Is this a Corman-esque dud or do we see some of the bright flicker of hope that this young ginger director may one day bring? You know how to find out . . .

Poll question: who was your favorite child star and in what role?

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Episode 297 – Frankenstein Unbound (1990)

We’ve done it! We’ve come to the end of our series “Be Like the Cor-Man”! They all laughed at us, laughed at us, I tell you! They said we were mad! Mad!! Well, now who’s mad?! Ahahahahahaha! We’ve made it through Roger Corman’s final directorial opus “Frankenstein Unbound”! They told us only lunatics would even attempt such an abomination! Fools! Credulous, hidebound fools! Who’s laughing now, eh, you fools?! WHO’S! LAUGHING! NOW! It’s us, that’s who, in case you’re all too credulous and hidebound and foolish to figure it out! Yes, this whole experiment has left us all shattered and ruined, mere shells of the men and ponies we were when we started but it was worth it, worth it I tell you! For science!!! Yes!! Because somehow all this ties back into science! It does! Stop giggling and being credulous and hidebound! Oh, and fools! Don’t forget fools! Because this whole experience has taught us . . . it’s taught us . . . well, listen and find out.

P.S. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Poll question: By some counts, Frankenstein is the 3rd most adapted literary character after Dracula and Sherlock Holmes; who is your favorite literary character adapted to film or tv or both?

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Episode 296 – The Trip (1967)

Log entry, nighttime, July something or other. So, we’re coming to the end of our series “Be Like the Cor-Man” and in preparation for our discussion of “The Trip,” an exploration of the effects of an LSD experience, I’ve decided to really commit to the message of the film, so I’ve eaten half a sheet of blotter acid in preparation. I’m pretty sure that’s a reasonable dose for a beginner; the internet seems unable to agree on that. I have to say, so far I’m pretty disappointed. It’s been over an hour and I’m not even slightly biffle dinked. Krammiz frantzaville . . . Wait, why did I type that? Ow! Ow, dammit, the keys on my keyboard are biting me! Oh man, the plants in my window box were right; why didn’t I listen?! They warned me that computer peripherals aren’t to be trusted! What? Say that again, I dare you! Oh, what do you know about it? You’re just a regular old chorus of talking bats wearing electric blue zoot suits; what do you know about the counter-culture of the 60’s? Oh, ok . . . my spleen just explained to me that I should be open to all perspectives if I want my consciousness to expand beyond simple truths offered up by random walking conifers. I see now. I see everything. I see beyond the crude shells of . . . oh, hang on. Wait, this isn’t blotter acid! This is a sheet of bubble gum tape! Dang it, that giant talking puffin lied to me! So . . . where did these bats come from? While I’m figuring that out, join us on a far out Corman trip, man. Groovy. Freaky-deaky! [Eww, so much bat guano . . .]

Poll question: What time period is your favorite film setting, in the past or future?

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Episode 295 – The Raven (1963)

Once upon a weekend dreary, while I pondered, drunk and bleary,
Over many a scratched and stainéd film, inducing quite a snore –
On the toilet I sat crapping, while the weekend I was mapping
In my head, my brain foot-tapping, hoping not to be a bore.
Surely there is something more!
Ah, distinctly I remember! It was May, no, wait, December!
Or maybe bleak November, I don’t know, my head is sore.
As I sat there nearly napping, from outside there came a tapping,
As if someone loudly rapping, rapping on the bathroom door!
Me: “One more minute, I implore!”
Then a voice, like some longshoreman, said: “’tis I, dead Roger Corman!
Do not open up the door, man, for that stench I can’t ignore!
Dead I may be, there’s no question, but I make this kind suggestion,
Someone should check your digestion, for that smell is bad, oh lor’!
If I weren’t dead already, it would kill me, that’s for shore!”
“Why haunt me, o movie shaman” I inquired, my face a-flamin’
My effluvia you’re shamin’, so what brings you to my door?”
“If a movie you are cravin’, go and watch my film ‘The Raven’,
Your podcast, it will be savin’, oh such pleasures are in store!”
And with that, he was no more!
So, I sat there, breathing fumes in, no it didn’t smell like cumin.
Shut your face, I’m only human! Does yours like roses smell?
Was the phantom truly speaking . . . oh lord, no, the toilet’s leaking!
It is out that I am freaking! Dear gods, this is surely hell!
How’s the movie? We shall tell!

Poll question: which author’s works do you most enjoy seeing adapted into film?

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Episode 294 – A Bucket of Blood (1959)

Hey, all you Daddy-os and cool chicks! Get hip to this new scene, man! We got some groovin’ behoovin’ all in the name of that heppest of hepcats Rog Corman and man, is this guy a real gone cat! We’re  diggin’ the scene in our scenario-series “Be Like the Cor-man”, man, and brother, have we got a blast this week with “A Bucket of Blood”. Man, we’re not just copping a bit, we’re not a couple of gin mill cowboys, we’re laying down the ginchiest melody around! This pucker palace has it all: art, murder, folk singing, and that squarest of cubes, Burt Convy! But don’t blow your jets, this is going to be boss! So focus your audio and pick up what we’re putting down; it’s better than a zonk in the head. Crazy, daddy-o, crazy!

[Translation from “Beat”: we’re pleased as punch that you’re joining us as we discuss Roger Corman’s “A Bucket of Blood.” Our discussion should be quite nifty.]

Poll question: what genre do you think mixes best with comedy?

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