Episode 85: The Time Machine (1960)

Welcome, time travelers, to the year 2525 (assuming man is still alive). No, I’m just messing with you, it’s still 2020 and this is still Max, Mike; Movies with our series “When We Wuz Kids.” At these current spatio-temporal coordinates, we bring you one of Mike’s childhood cinematic influences: the 1960 film adaptation of H.G. Wells’ “The Time Machine.” This movie has it all: time travel! Explosions! Eloi! Morlocks! . . . and that’s about it, really.  So let’s . . . huh.  That’s odd.  Some guy who looks just like me just appeared in my office; he claims to be me from the future and he’s warning me about posting this episode! If I do, some great cataclysm will . . . hang on, there’s another version of me now who is arguing with the first version, claiming that by interfering with the timeline, he/I’m just making things worse.  Aaaand now there are forty-five versions of me in the office (hard to move now), all arguing about causality and what should happen now.  Wow, they just won’t shut up. Geez, I’m really of long-winded! I never realized . . . Whoops, one of the distant future-me’s just said something about the release of “Cats 17: This Time It’s Purrsonal” so to hell with all of me and let’s get this episode up.  Give a listen and see if this episode has doomed us all.

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Episode 84: The Great Race (1965)

Greetings, sports fans, and welcome back to “Max, Mike; Movies!” series “When We Wuz Kids.” This week we delve into a cinematic semi-precious gem that is solidly wedged into the psyche of one Max. This Max, to be more specific.  Yes, by golly we’re taking on “The Great Race,” a zany comedy from the mind of Blake “The Pink Panther” Edwards, involving a turn-of-the-twentieth-century automobile race (those dang horseless carriages will never catch on) from New York to Paris. Yes, I know. Try not to think about the geography too much.  But never mind geography! We’ve got Tony Curtis as the always well-coifed Great Leslie and his arch-nemesis Professor Fate, played with scenery-chewing relish by Jack Lemmon, as well as the stunning Natalie Wood as a plucky suffragette/journalist/damsel in distress. As a kid, I remember this being a great deal of fun, rather like a live-action cartoon (and it did end up being the inspiration for “The Wacky Races”).  Does it remain joyfully chucklesome? Or has it aged poorly, like mayonnaise left out overnight? Mmmm . . . overnight mayonnaise . . . Join us and find out! Click the link, Max!

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Episode 83: Captain Nemo and the Underwater City (1969)

Welcome back to our collective trip down memory lane in our series “When We Wuz Kids,” where we jabber about the motion pictures that had an impact on us as wee tykes (some of them were even those new-fangled “talkies”!). This week sinks us into the Marianas Trench that is Mike’s formative years, when he loved him some “Captain Nemo and the Underwater City”, a . . . sequel? to the well-known “20,000 Leagues Under The Sea,” the popular Disney version of the Jules Verne story. And do any of the Disney stars reprise their roles? Do we get James Mason? Kirk Douglas? Peter Lorre? Well . . . no. Not as such.  But we do get Chuck “The Rifleman” Connors! That’s pretty much the same thing, right? And did “20,000 Leagues” have a giant underwater kaiju named Mobula? I think not! So, we got that goin’ for us.  So how does this one hold up to Mike’s rose-colored glasses of youthful memory? Is it a delight for the entire family? A marvel of ahead-of-its-time steampunk? A hard-hitting documentary about the degeneration of coral reef’s world-wide? A small pile of jello cubes with a bowler hat perched on top? Tune in and find out what’s wrong with me! I mean, what we think of this movie.  Yes.  That’s what I mean.

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The Oscars, 2020

We interrupt our childhood reminisces for something more timely: our take on this year’s Academy Awards. Yes, we’re right on top of things here at Max, Mike; Movies.  It’s been a mere two weeks since the 92nd Night the Stars Salute Themselves and we figure things have calmed down enough to offer our own opinions on the Academy’s choices for Best Picture Nominees, as well as what we think of the winner, because goodness knows that what people really want is OUR take on these movies.  Because what do those industry professionals know? No, we know what people want: the ramblings of a couple of movie nerds! Mike and I have watched the Oscars every year for over thirty years, so that qualifies us to  . . . watch it again this year and talk about it! And that’s what we’ll do! Just try and stop us (please don’t try and stop us; it would probably be pretty easy to do so).  So yes, we’re talking about the show itself, the lack of a host (hey, we’re both available next year, Academy! Just sayin’ . . . ), the music, the pageantry, and . . .  what am I forgetting . . . oh, right! The movies! What did we think of the Big Nine? What did we think of the winner? Do we think it’s an honor just to be nominated? Will the orchestra play us off before we finish this episode? Find out!

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Episode 82: Oliver! (1968)

Ahh, 1968! Was there ever a better year for kids movies? Well, yes, of course there was, but for some reason all three of the movies in our “When We Wuz Kids” series seem to come from that year.  Was this accidental? Hah! Mike and I are professionals! You think we don’t have some clever, over-arching scheme in choosing three movies from the same year? You really think that? Really?
Well, of course you’re completely right.  It just sort of happened this way.  We were little kids around this time, so there you go.  And this week, our choice is the Oscar-winning musical “Oliver!”, a delightful song-filled romp through 1830’s London with back-breaking poverty, the systematic maltreatment of orphans and foundlings, devious men who turn children into criminals, thieves, murderers, domestic abusers . . . you know, a family movie! Yes, this is a charming musical based on Charles Dickens’ serialized children’s book.  And by children’s book, I mean it was a savage condemnation of England’s lack of child labor laws and the criminalization of poverty. So, yeah, that just screams “family movie musical,” doesn’t it? I really liked this movie when I was a kid; how does it hold up, after years of aging and a brief career as a Dickens scholar? Tune in and hear what we think!

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Episode 81: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)

Today we continue our journey into the twisted smoking ruin that is our childhoods . . . what? Why are you all looking at me like that? I’m fine. I’m fine. Seriously, this week we continue “When We Wuz Kids,” where we check out movies that we remember loving as kids to see how they hold up.  This week’s entry comes from Mike’s distant past: another 1968 entry, “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”, a non-Disney kids’ musical with songs from the team that brought you “Mary Poppins” and includes Dick Van Dyke who wisely chose to forgo any sort of British accent in this movie (which makes it a little odd, as he’s the only one in the family without one).  This movie has it all: singing, dancing, candy, a magical car, a terrifying Child-Catcher, and several surprising connections to our last series, the one about James Bond. Seriously.  And it’s not just because the movie has a car that can float or fly. Give a listen and find out what we’re talking about!

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Episode 80: Yellow Submarine (1968)

As one chapter closes, another begins . . . welcome to our new series, “When We Wuz Kids,” wherein Michael and I recall and review movies that we were enjoyed in our respective youths. Naturally, with our current level of maturity, we will be maintaining quiet dignity and a mature respect for . . . Miiiike! Quit it! Hey, Mike’s waving his hand in my face! It doesn’t MATTER if you’re not touching me, or if it’s free air, you’re still being a jerk! Oh, you are so going to get it! No, YOU are! Oh, yeah? Well, so’s your ol’ man! Quit it! Oh, you gonna cry now, big baby? You gonna cry? Gimme back my juice box!
So yes, Mike and I are regressing to childhood (yes, thank you, keep the “how far can that be” jokes to yourselves), starting with one of my favorites when I was a wee lad: the Beatles’ “Yellow Submarine.” Ok, yes, when I first saw it as a child, the Blue Meanies scared me so much I had to be taken out of the theater.  But I got over it.  Really. I did.  I’m not scared of AAAAAAHHHH! BLUE MEANIEEEEEES! *ahem* Yes, well . . . look, they’re really scary when you’re little! Shut up, Mike, they are too! Oh, you are so gonna get it at recess . . . Anyway, give a listen as we discuss the animated creation based around the Lads from Liverpool.  Enjoy, and remember: Blue Meanies never take “yes” for an answer!

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Episode 79: View to a Kill (1985)

Soooo Mr. Bond.  We have come to the end of our little game, haven’t we.  Yes, this amusing little series . . . what did you call it? “Get ‘em, Jimmy”, yes? Following the highs and lows of your career? How droll.  Would you call this a low? Heh heh heh. And how appropriate, for now you are the one who have been “got.” “Gotten.” “Gotted?” Never mind!  We’re not so different, you and I, Mr. Bond; both of us . . . what?! No! How did you get loose?! Guards! Seize him! Don’t let him get to the Big Villain Lair Destroying Button in the center of the room! WHY do we have that again?

So, while the guards are attempting to seize ol’ Jimbo, let us welcome you to the last installment in our Bond series, 1985’s “View to a Kill.” And of all the Bond films we’ve discussed, this is certainly one of them.  The (some might say long overdue) last of the Roger Moore Bond films, this film has . . . a lot in it.  We’ve got Christopher Walken in an unfortunate blond wig as the villain (that is to say, Walken is the villain, not the wig.  Probably), the fabulous and intimidating Grace Jones as the main henchperson, Patrick McNee as a sidekick, and the stealthiest dirigible in film history.  Oh, and Tanya Roberts is the main “Bond Girl”, and if you’re asking yourself “Who’s Tanya Roberts?”, well, good for you.  Regardless of what we think of the quality of this film (and that should become clear fairly quickly), there ain’t much there, there so we close out the episode with a discussion suggestion from one of our loyal and well-coifed listeners (a Mr. Cheeseboy, I believe).  What is this discussion about? Well, pull up a comfy and needlessly complicated death trap and listen while Mike and I monologue extensively about our evil scheme.  Wait, there are two of us, so it can’t be a monologue.  Di-monologue? Duo-monologue? There must be a term for this . . .

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Episode 78: Skyfall (2012)

Welcome to another episode of our study of the James “Shaken Not Stirred” Bond film genre in our series “Get ‘em, Jimmy!” Last week we had the absurd, so this week we have . . . ok, I can’t really say it’s sublime, but it’s a hell of a lot better than last week’s bolus of a movie.  This week’s film is another in the Daniel Craig collection and it’s safe to say it’s a high point for him. Not to say all his Bond films were gems (I’m looking at YOU, “Spectre”!) but he has a pretty high average.  In this outing, we’ve got Bond going up against a mysterious enemy, someone who has a particular grudge . . . not against Bond but against his boss, M, played to perfection by Dame Judy Dench.  The gadgets aren’t ridiculous, we get a guest appearance by the Aston-Martin DB5 (who apparently was a REAL diva on set, but everyone had to put up with it because, y’know, it’s DB5), and we actually a glimpse into James Bond’s past, something few if any Bond films have done.  Plus, there’s Albert Finney! Holy crap, that’s really Albert Finney! And Lord Voldemort takes over MI6! Ok, that sounded a lot less misleading in my head . . . just give us a listen and I’m sure we’ll make even less sense.

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Who The Hell Are You Guys?

Y’know, we’ve been doing this podcast for a while and it occurred to Mike that, hard to believe as it might be, there could be folks out there who might be wondering who we are and why anyone would want to listen to what we say. After I stopped my hysterical laughter at such an absurd notion, I realized that, like the top of his head, Mike has a point. Who are we? Why are our opinions so vitally important? It’s possible that people might actually be interested in a brief summary of what makes us tick and what makes us go “Huygleflamdoof!” (so many, many things make us do that).  So here, at the request of none, is a short, special episode where Mike and I discuss ourselves, our love of movies, and why independent film discussion might actually be something that matters.  Enjoy!

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