Episode 66: Baby Geniuses (1999)

Pray for us, dear listeners! More specifically, pray for poor Max who had to endure Mike’s cruel strike in this week’s “You Can’t Make Me, You Can’t Make Me” series; Mike has chosen a serious garbage fire of a movie, “Baby Geniuses,” a movie based on the “premise” that babies under the age of two years old (that EXACT age, by the way; that’s a plot point) are actually hyper-intelligent creatures who can understand any language and know the secrets of the universe. Because, sure. The film’s Bad Guys, who by some cruel trick of the universe are played by the amazing Kathleen Turner and Christopher Lloyd, are trying to exploit infantile wisdom with infantile script writing . . . I mean evil plans. There’s Uncanny Valley levels of weird effects to make it look like the babies are speaking (did I mention this was live-action and not the badly-animated cartoon it sounds like it should be?), wardrobe montages, baby martial arts, bad and often inappropriate jokes . . . yes, this movie has it all. Seriously, this is so bad, it took me an hour into the film to realize I was watching the wrong movie. Huh? For the answer to that and other questions, dive in with us!