Ah, Hollywood! The land of glitter and sparkle! The land where dreams are born, struggle, and eventually end up in a miserable job in middle-management . . . I mean dreams come true! Obviously that’s what I meant, and you all know it! Hollywood is the most terribly important industry in all of The United Hollywoods of America; just ask Hollywood! What matters more than making a motion picture? Nothing, that’s what! Forget “growing food” or “treating medical issues” or “keeping people alive in general,” all of that is MEANINGLESS, you hear me? MEANINGLESS compared to the incomparable splendor that is Hollywood and making nine sequels to forgettable action movies. And don’t you forget it! In this week’s entry in our series “Ready When You Are, C.B.” we get one of Hollywood’s attempts to shine a rather watery light on its own practices and what some people will go through to get their picture made. “The Bad and the Beautiful” follows an actor, a writer, and a director, bound together for their hatred of a high-powered movie producer. A hated producer? Man, the stuff people come up with . . . join us, give a listen, and see how well or how poorly this utterly LUDICRIOUS story idea comes together. Roll it!
Poll question: what onscreen couple had the worst chemistry?
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Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne as Valerian and Laureline Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets a beautiful film but these two are supposed to lovers and I barely felt like they had ever met. They are supposed to be wise cracking action heroes and their roles just came off so flat and lifeless I didn’t just buy them as a couple but found it impossible to care if either of them lived or died. Just being pretty and young doesn’t mean instant chemistry or in this case, any at all. I was more interested in the alien races and worlds shown, the visuals are stunning but I saw it twice and I couldn’t tell you what it is even about!
Oh, come on, Vince! I saw that “Valerian” movie and I clearly remember it’s about . . . Ummmm . . . hang on . . . there were these people . . . and they were . . . looking for this . . . thing? Person? Dang, you nailed it!
I do remember the lead characters having zero chemistry, though.