Ok, ok, hang on, hold that still . . . so, in honor of this week’s entry in our “Give Me One More Chance” series, the found-footage, shaky-cam opus “Cloverfield,” I’m creating my very own handheld video masterpiece “Thistlemeadow,” complete with terrifying monsters and human drama, so let’s get, wha’ . . . DAMN, I dropped the video camera . . . hang on . . . crap, it’s under the couch. I can’t reach it! Oh no, it’s recording . . . and the rental runs out in a couple of hours! Ok, ok, I can work with this . . . gimme that broom handle . . . “Oh no! Jerian! Look out! It’s a colossal . . . dust bunny . . . eldritch horror from beyond space and time! Aaahhhhh!” “Grrarrrr! Grrarr!” “Eeeek, so scary!” “Quick, let’s hide behind these ruins that look suspiciously like loose change and a couple of stale Cheerios!” “Aaaaiiiieeee! So scary!” “We have to get to the Safety Zone over by those chipped Lego pieces and that, oh, hey, there’s the stereo remote! I mean, there’s the . . . Escape Space Barge! Oh, if only we can make it . . .” Wait, damn, the recording light went off! Did I forget to charge the battery? Man, this found footage crap is harder than I thought. You win, J.J. Abrams . . . this time. But how does Mr. Abrams little project hold up on the second viewing? Give a listen to our shrieks of terror and be glad that if we jiggle the camera a lot, you’ll never know!
Poll question: what is scarier in the movies, giant monsters that destroy cities, or small monsters that can hide under the bed or in your chest cavity? Leave us a comment or record your screams of terror on our hotline at 617-398-7266.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
I love giant monster movies but seldom find then scary… Cloverfield, the Host and godzilla -1 are pretty scary though! More human scale monsters can exist in our homes, look us in the eye, jump out of nowhere at anytime while giant monsters likely wouldn’t even notice us. A film that can use that indifference to us and our inability to defend ourselves in any way against an unmovable force of nature and still make us feel that danger personally is quite the feat!
Oooh, really good observations, Vince! Wouldn’t have thought of it that way. Thanks!