Ding! And we’re here for another bone-cracking,
skull-crushing, eye-gouging (self-inflicted, most likely) round of “You Can’t
Make Me, You Can’t Make Me” here at “Max, Mike; Movies!” This week’s chosen
cinematic rusty knife has been chosen by Mike and shoved into my intestines for
my watching agony. I mean pleasure . . . no, no I don’t. This week, Mike’s chosen “poker hand” is the
2008 musical “Repo! The Genetic Opera.” This movie . . . how does one describe
it? Well, how does one describe your average slag heap? We have an . . .
unusual cast: Paul Sorvino, who was actually trained as opera singer (a LONG
time ago), Anthony Stewart Head (Giles, from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”), Alexa
PenaVega (from the “Spy Kids” movies), Paris Hilton . . . no, that’s not a
typo, and Sarah Freakin’ Brightman.
Sarah Brightman. Acclaimed Broadway star, major voice from the original
cast of “Phantom of the Opera”, is in a movie with Paris Hilton. Because when
you think “Sarah Brightman,” you immediately think “Paris Hilton” in the same
breath. Those two go together like fine
champagne and the Wankel Rotary Engine. Somehow they got her in this
movie. I can only hope that they
released her family unharmed afterwards.
The plot? Picture s-f writer Larry Niven’s “organlegging” storylines but make
it legal, throw in a predatory payment plan, guys in hazmat suits based on
fetish bondage gear who “repossess” organs, and fifty-eight, count ‘em,
fifty-eight songs. There’s a bunch of
other plot, too. Is it engaging? Did I
end up caring about the plot, the characters, the songs or the sets? Or did I
just care about someday getting my hands around Mike’s throat? Tune in, turn on
and find out.

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