What is happening, all you (checks notes) jiving turkeys? We are (checks notes) keeping on truck-in with our groovy series “I Vant to Vatch Your Feelm” with this week’s (checks notes) funkley entry “Blacula.” Let us give you (checks notes) the skinny on this (checks notes) slamming, whoops, I mean, slammin’ flick, while we head out in our (checks notes) shaggin’ wagon and hit the road in search of our next jive-talking (hah, didn’t need my notes for that one) movie. Hey, Mike, don’t (checks notes) bogart all that Bumpypux cereal! Yes, as you can see I have extensively researched the classic slang of the 70’s and can now seamlessly work it into conversation. “But Max,” you might say, “didn’t you live through the 70’s? Wouldn’t you already know all the cool slang?” Well, elegantly coifed but naïve listener, I did indeed live through the 70’s but at no point could I be considered cool. Golly! But don’t let that detract from our discussion of “Blacula”, one of the best-known of the Blaxploitation movies of the 70’s . . . or is it? We’ll try to let you know, and we (checks notes) ain’t just woofin’! Wait, was that a real phrase? It was? Seriously? Huh . . .
Poll question: Who do you think is the worst cinematic vampire? Leave a comment or call our Emergency Blood Donation hotline at at 617-398-7266
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I was so happy to see Pee Wee Herman had hired Blacula to be “the king of cartoons!
Johnny Depp as Barabus Collins is one of the most disappointing vampires ever, such a waste of good material and he no one else in the “film” understood Dark Shadows at all. The Twilight series was so bad I have not seen more than a few minutes of a couple of the movies, but “cult” French “filmmaker” Jean Rollin has made a larger number of vampire films, including one called “2 Orphan Vampires” about 2 blind girls living in a nunnery who are vampires by night… that is the BEST of his films. They are so dull, slow, confusing and awful; they aren’t even campy. He does seem to be able to make each one awful in it’s own distinct way. If you see his name on a film… RUN AWAY!!!! Dont get fooled by titles like “the nude vampire” or “Fiancé of Dracula” they are worse than you can imagine.