Welcome! Well, we still haven’t forgotten how much we hate time travel but maybe we will forget once the timeline changes! Again! For the first or last time! But this week, we’re checking out another time travel epic from 2014 (a big year for time travel movie, as last week’s entry can support) “Edge of Tomorrow” which, despite its title, is not a long-running daytime soap opera but rather a Tom Cruise science-fiction vehicle that fortunately also has Emily Blunt along as another passenger. This has all the classic Tom Cruise elements: running, riding motorcycles, creepy chuckling . . . oh, and there’s aliens and time travel and soldiers in funky battle armor that no one seems to think they need training to use. But most of all, this movie has . . . the Spanus. What is the Spanus, you dare to ask? Give a listen and learn, but be warned! Once learned, this cannot be unlearned!
Poll question: what’s a movie that everyone else seems to love and adore but you either can’t stand it or it just strikes you as “meh….”?
Hey there, true believers! It’s our pulse-pounding penultimate pulchritudinous package of “I’d Forgotten How Much I Hate Time Travel” limited edition, foil-covered mini-series! And we’re dealing with an entry in that Merry Mutant Marching Society “X-Men: Days of Future Past.” Excelsior! ‘nuff said! Other catch phrases! Why this one, Lissome Listeners? Because this X-Magnum Opus is the one that deals most blatantly and obviously with time travel. Based on one of the most beloved (and re-written) X-Men comic book storylines of the same name, this movie follows the X-Men as they attempt to rewrite a terrible historical event from the 1970’s that resulted in a dreadful post-apocalyptic world. What is this event, you ask? Obviously it was the invention of bell-bottoms, that fashion nightmare that doomed humanity. We . . . we didn’t know . . . we just didn’t know! Now which X-Men are we dealing with, you may ask? The Patrick Stewart/Ian McKellen X-Men or the James Macavoy/Michael Fassbender X-Men? You’re both right! It’s two! Two! Two X-Men in one! With a glistening drop of mutant retcin! Yes, this movie attempts to serve as a bridge between the older cinematic X-Men and the newer ones, with time travel thrown in. Does it work? Does the time travel mangle our minds? Does this movie contain the absolute best version of Quicksilver ever to appear on screen? (spoiler for the last question: yes. Yes it does). For the answer to the OTHER questions, give a listen! ‘nuff said . . . again.
Poll Question: What movie do you think should be protected by state, federal, and church law from EVER being remade?
Welcome back to another in our non-linear, temporally unfixed series “I’d Forgotten How Much I Hate Time Travel”! This week’s entry is “Looper,” the story of a young commercial airline pilot who refuses to give up his dream of constantly flying his plane in loop-the-loops, to the dismay of the stodgy airline “establishment,” as well as the terror of his passengers. Well, that’s what this movie WOULD have been about if Hollywood could recognize the visionary nature of my spec script and wasn’t run by a bunch of calcified old men . . . well, that’s neither here nor there . . . nor is it now or then, because this movie, directed by Rian Johnson, the fella who brought us “Knives Out” and some space movie or other about yetis or something, dares to ask the question: when Joseph Gordon-Levitt ages thirty years, will he look like Bruce Willis? Spoiler alert: the answer, apparently, is a resounding “yes!” Some might argue that’s not the central issue of this movie, which also deals with some nonsense about time travel as a tool for criminals, telekinesis, and the nature of causality, but really it’s the “growing up to look like Bruce Willis” question that really encapsulates the horror of this movie. Brace yourselves and give a listen!
“Poogaloo, the Singing Pangolin” will not be heard tonight so we can bring you the following special presentation, brought to you commercial free and in living (auditory) color. We’re interrupting our current time-travel series for this extra-ultra-mega-super-lifesize-retcin-free episode where Mike and I partake in a classic piece of Americana: the Drive-In Movie! What with living in this time of modern plague it’s still not safe to go to the movie theaters yet so what could be better than cramming the whole family into an SUV, smuggling in easily-spilled snacks and drinks, hooking a tinny-sounding speaker to your window and watching a massive outdoor screen be attacked by moths? Ah, memories! Well, Mike and I happened to be in the same place at the same time (a sadly rare occurrence) and we took the opportunity to see if this cherished cinematic format still exists (it does!) and what was like now, as neither of us had been to a drive-in in far longer than we care to admit. So after we all go to the lobby, after we all go to the lobby, after we all go to the lobby . . . dammit, sorry, clamber into the car trunk so we can sneak you in with us [disclaimer: you don’t have to do that anymore; they charge by the car, not by the number of passengers].
Poll question: when was the last time (if ever) that you went to a Drive-In Theater and what did you see?