Heeeeeyyy, dudes and dudettes! Welcome back to WMMM, that’s Radio Max, Mike; Movies, playing all the hits, all the time, all the way home! We’re here with Captain Nutbar, Squeegee, The Countersunk Screw and all the wacky crew . . . right, that’s enough of that. Yes, our movie this week in our series “I Keep Meaning to Watch That” is Cameron Crowe’s semi-autobiographical film about his days following a band for Rolling Stone, and yes, there’s a lot of cool music in it but that’s no excuse for us to act like wacky morning DJs. Ever. This week’s movie is Max’s choice; I kept hearing how good this movie is and how great the soundtrack is. I guess what really sold me is the famous scene when they’re all on the bus singing that great tribute song to the star of “Who’s the Boss?” Hm? Oh, come on, you know. The Elton John song. “Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza.” Why are you rolling your eyes like that? Come and roll your ears at us instead.
What ho, valiant varlets! We got us a brand new “I Keep Meaning to Watch That” entry. This one is Mike’s choice and involves an obscure Disney animated film (which I know sounds like a contradiction in terms): 1985’s “The Black Cauldron.” Can’t understand why this wasn’t a bigger hit; who wouldn’t want to watch a whiny swineherd who thinks he’s a hero with his precognitive-for-some-reason pig do battle against one of the most one-dimensional Disney villains of all time? Plus, we’ve got one of the most annoying “comic relief” sidekicks in history: Gurgi, the Jar Jar Binks of old-school Disney. Does the film have redeeming qualities? Why isn’t it better known? All will be revealed, as we consult our clairvoyant aardvark, Clarence. Speak to us, Clarence! Speak! . . . Um . . . anybody out there speak aardvark?
Hail and well met, friends and fanciers! This week on Max, Mike; Movies we’re starting a branding spanking (a spanking! A spanking!) new series (awwww!): “I Keep Meaning to Watch That.” In it, Mike and I take turns choosing a classic, famous, or infamous movie that we’ve always meant to watch but have never gotten around to actually . . . you know, watching. This week is my choice: the 1948 Bogey-and-Bacall classic “Key Largo”. What’s that? Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall aren’t enough for you? Geez, what is your deal? No seriously, how about we throw Edward G. Robinson and Lionel Barrymore into the mix? Yes, the mix gets a bit lumpy but it’s totally worth it. Lend us an ear (we’ll give it back, we promise)!
Wel . . . wel . . . welcome to fiftieth *hic* amplitude, no,
wait, epishode, episode of Mix, Mork; Moogies.
No, no, wait, I got this: the fiftieth thingy of Maalox, Meringue;
Smoothies. *hic*, shorry, shorry, hang on . . .
Sheriously, I mean, seriously, this is our
fiftieth episode! The big five-oh! And we’ve decided to do something special for
all you loyal, sober listeners: we’re just taking this episode to talk about
the worst movies we can remember seeing.
I mean the real stinkers, the ones that made us, or almost made us, walk
out of the theater (remember theaters? People used to see movies in them, back
in the Long Ago). But of course there’s
no way we could talk about these cinematic crapburgers in a rational state of
mind, so Mike and I took the opportunity, as we were both in the same
geographical location, to . . . um . . . fortify ourselves with a few small
libations of . . . . ok, we got drunk, ok? We knocked back a few, I got more pompous,
Mike somehow got stuck in an English accent.
Yes, these are movies that quite literally drove us to seek solace in sweet,
sweet booze. Pour one out for the fallen
films and join us in our drunken ravings!